My Cinderella Story

This sunday will be a different day for me. And for those people who are going to see me. I finally been successfully poisoned by my colleagues to fit in this stupid dress, because of the costume night we are having.

Here's the Cinderella's dress, Aznor has borrowed me her digital camera for me to take more pix of myself that day. - delly

Transkripsi Delly

Biarlah Rahsia....

Pernahkah kau bermimpi seketika
berada di tempatku
membayangkan
pahit manis berlalu
entah siapa yang tahu

Mungkin nanti kau jua merasakan
berdepan dengan kata menyesakkan
takkan tugumu kebal
tiada pertimbangan

Keheningan malam membangunkan
kepayahan jiwa meluahkan
andai kau jujur memahami
tiadaku menjauhi

Dan kisahku yang masih panjang
menambahkan berat yang memandang
lantas ku pendam
kuputuskan
biarlah rahsia...

Semakin aku hidup dalam cinta
tiada kuasa mampu menghalangnya
hentikan kata-kata bertulangkan dusta

pernahkah kau bermimpi seketika
berada di tempatku....

haaahhhh.....

Mendengar album terbaru Siti Nurhaliza, Transkripsi, memang tiada bezanya dengan album-album sebelumnya. Lebih ke'Indo'nan dan ke'Melly Goeslow'an, lagu-lagu Melly memang sebijik style dialah, cumanya dengan suara Siti. Bayangkan ajelah lagu Jika atau Ada Apa Dengan Cinta dinyanyikan oleh Siti. Begitulah didendangkan...

Macamana pun, aku suka dengan Siti Situ Sana Sini, rasanya mengikut taste aku yang suka dengan fast creative song dicampur dengan elemen hip hop, plus, plus pop sikit. Keduanya, biarlah bunyi Indon, aku tetap suka...Biarlah Rahsia...bukanlah kerana lagu sangat, tetapi kerana lirik yang ditulis oleh Siti. Memang sangat menusuk kalbu aku yang pernah merasa kepedihan bercinta a.k.a cinta terlarang. :(

Banyak kisah dalam hidup aku yang tidak pernah terjangkau oleh fikiran sesiapa pun. Seperti Siti jugak, aku memutuskan agar segalanya..biarlah rahsia...kecuali beberapa teman rapat yang sangat memahami. Aku mengimpikan sangat agar ada seseorang yang sangat memahami keadaan diri aku, atau setidak-tidaknya menjadi aku walaupun sehari agar mereka faham siapa aku yang sebenarnya... - delly

The Course Day

I'm attending one-whole-day-course - regarding the branding and promotion. Rebranding. Whatsoeva. Today I got to know that my rival's magazine was the most selling magazine in the book fair last few weeks. And mine is at the 22nd place, not so bad as to be listed among 34 magazines.

Sometimes I do think of quitting and retiring. Ahh....everything makes me mad. Is it about the concept? Or is it because we didn't find, as yet, the 'x' factor like B*K did? We already did almost everything just like other magazines do. We are almost 2 years old, and still crawling, looking for attention. That's too bad... At this point, somehow I feel that we are at our worst part - when we seem desperate to go downtown to fields and promote the magazines ourselves. What is lack inside? What is so damn empty inside?

Well life seems not easy for me, still not very easy. And it is just my bad luck that I have to handle a magazine which has no x factor. But there are still so many other factors I can use...including...not to be quitting now...face the facts....make it happens...(not 'makelovehappens'...that's bu**sh*t...... - delly

Autograph Session

Funny to know that we are idols of kids! Whereever me and my team go, they always ready with pen and our E-Baca in hand, and ask for a signature. Hwa.....u want my signature aaaa....kelakar je....anyways, thank you for the kids because they really support us, from the very beginning to the very end. We are now actively progress in sampling activities, twice in a week, involving 4 schools in a week. We have sampled the mag to 6 schools about now, and what makes us happy is that - we can give sample and sell as well! Thanks to abang Zack, thanks to abang Halim, and thanks to the always 'poyo' guy at the back, Khairul who are always willing to help. Guess they know the condition and status of our magazine, ha.ha..ha...and I really appreciate that.

Naqi*ah came over today and passed the report to me. Well, I feel proud too that they did mention my name on the report, and I'm more happy to know that their lecturers were happy with the presentation and regarded their small show as "a brilliant presentation".

That was really cool. They just reminded me back to my uni days, when I was really among the smart students and how I was proud to be in journalism sequence. I always led, and be the best in my every presentation (even though that time our modal for presentation were just 'kertas mahjung', marker pen, and the best we could do pun with the help of MS Power Point. That was considered the most canggihlah!). My soul was truly into writing, I had my neverending passion towards whatever I did, and I remember how the Head of Journalism used to like me so much - fevret studentlah!

These five students, Naqiah, Diyana, Safrena, Diana II and a the only thorn among roses, Ilah, were cool and they really paid attention to whatever I conveyed to them. Having no transportation at all, they rented car for about 4-5 times only to come to my office and see me. One day, they didn't sleep coz were eager waiting for the printing process of March's issue. They called me at 3.00 a.m just to tell me that they are awake and I should not hesitate to call them anytime to the printing factory. The factory people finally called me at about 7 am, and when I saw them in office, every face looked so pale and sleepy like hell. They showed up to every assignment I assigned to my journalists, and in return, I asked them to come over to any movie previews in Mid Valley.

On the Sk8 Challenge day, I was so damn busy that I didn't have time to plan them for any task, and finally I decided that they should follow Kareno to my uncle's place in Bangi to pick up food. It did them good too coz with Kareno they learned something about promotion and marketing etc etc.

On their presentation day, I just gave them whatever they wanted. And in evening when they came to return things, they handed me over with a VCD about them, that they recorded themselves, their pix and lotta Dunkin Donuts for us. Thank you so much! As I watched the movie, I felt so touchy inside because I finally realized that I didn't really concentrate on them much, because of my 'business'. However I just did whatever I could possibly do at that time. And when they were rewarded as "brilliang preenters", I felt happy inside too.

Tulah secebis kisah bebudak universiti yang baru nak belajar..... - delly

Something Cool About "High School Musical"

I went to The Ascott yesterday with Karen*o for a preview screening of "High School Musical", as invited by Janet and Michelle of Weber Shandwick. It will be on Astro in June, and for me the movie, which is originally produced by Disney Channel, is cool and definitely my type. But since it is a musical movie, so everything seems to be connected with songs and singing scenes, as in the Hindi and Tamil movies..ha..ha...but it was cool, the session was like..wow!..it was held in The Ascott's room I'm telling you...besides us, there were some other journalists from Cool Zone, Hot mag, etc etc etc....

Earlier that morning, me and my team were in section 6 and 9 schools (last week we were at sec 18 and 24 schools), and this time we brought magazines to sell them ourselves. Ha..hebat tak hebat...I've been thinking of better ideas every single day..and what's wrong in selling our very own product? And this is what we actually call - direct-to-the-customer-business-system..whatsoeva. And to our surprise the kids actually "know" what is best for them, and I don't have to wonder why they could easily handed me RM 10 just like that - school children are very advanced nowadays...if my time, I brought like RM 0.50 to school, and even it was a real joy coz it was such a big amount that time! But now, RM 10 is nothing, and a few kids told me that they actually wanted to buy two mags. So, what's up? It's mind poisoning time....grrr.....

Dawn invited us for the screening of Failure To Launch..ahh!! my type of movie..but I guess I won't be able to meet her up for the screening as we are on for another sampling session in another 2 schools! And this is what I always tell my team that, to gain the best, is to work till the end. And for that, guess I have to sacrifice some of entertainment elements that I really enjoy..maybe laters....

G bought me three DVDs - The Shaggy Dog, Ultra Violet and Yours, Mine and Ours. I've watched The Shaggy and Yours, Mine and Ours - but G told me Ultra Violet sucks. Oh God...futuristic movie is definitely not my type, and for that statement - thanks but no thanks - won't really have time to watch.

Oh yes, last Saturday I was in Zou*k, attended Sheena's invitation of MTV-Asia Voting Party - I got a chance to "eyes-to-eyes" dengan Adam (Tak Tahu), Ahli Fiqir, Zain Ruffedge and Joe Flizzow of Too Phat. I was disappointed as Too Phat and Ruffedge didn't perform, but it was cool too with the other two artistes' performance. . Thought of extending the party of my own and G after 11, but it was "electric" night - again!! - (hey what the heck of this Zou*k..asyik-asyik electric nite je!) - so as soon as the voting party over, we just left.

Till then, latersss...... - delly

My Dinner Gown (Kwang..kwang....!!)

I never had any dreams to look gorgeous ke, whatsoeva while attending dinner. But this year, entah kemaruk apa, I bought myself a night dress, which definitely look good on me (ceh, perasan!) , but will look even better If I could be a lil bit slimmer. (But close your eyes about dua gunung yang terjojol ni, coz mine is not exactly like this one - sopan skeet la...)

I had an eye on a printed roses dress, memang cantik, so girly, girly and penuh sifat2 kewanitaan..cewah...but I don't like one thing about it - it's too short, and I look like completely Chinese baru je tannedkan muka. And a sleeveless dress like that, really make me feel...well I need to think thrice!!

In the mean time, I saw one makcik was arranging Valerie's clothes, and in a blink of eyes, more into my intuition kot....I saw one nice dress, it's a black dress yang memang simple, but sexier, and nicer (sebab labuh sikit dari yang tadi). I didn't think twice, I grabbed the dress, in size 40 (euro) - mak!! besarnya aku!!! - and I felt more confidence exist in me as compared to the previous dress. The price is so much cheaper, macam separuh daripada harga dress tadi, boleh? So, what the hell am I waiting for? Amik...buat tak tau terus bayar je la.

And the next thing to think is, hey camnelah nak cover dress ni plak...isy tak hingin aku pakai berlenging gitu....so I have to think about the outer cover plaks. Rasanya need something that can cover my perut yang cute ni....

The theme for this year is like, "Who You Wanna Be?" - bikin panas je tema cenggini. So I have decided to be MYSELF. My 'revamped' self. Entah, tengokkkan je la... - delly

What The Kerrr!!!

I found this very bad, bad girl. I'm not sure whether she was telling me the truth or not, so to dig more, I need to ask more and to pretend more. Here was the conversation that occured, and me hiding my real name and everything about me. She asked me whether I would like to join her 'gang' - doing stuff like, into bed with men, f**k, take his money and forget. She assured me that I don't have to worry about my safety as they do have 'seniors' who will do checking on him, will spy on him, to make sure he's rich, and easy to play and to be played.

I asked for her phone number, but she said everything is just an online conversation until I finally decide to join their group and meet them personally.

She personified herself as 'Tasha'. Here's the full conversation between us:

natasha23_asha: hye
dellyzz: hello
natasha23_asha: saya tasya 25 fem kl
natasha23_asha: awak asl
dellyzz: delly 20 kl
dellyzz: kl di mana?
natasha23_asha: setapak
natasha23_asha: awak?
dellyzz: kampung baru
dellyzz: kerja di mana?
natasha23_asha: saya duk umah ajer
dellyzz: duduk rumah?
dellyzz: tak kerja?
natasha23_asha: a ah
natasha23_asha: awak keja mana
dellyzz: kl juga
natasha23_asha: oh
dellyzz: chatting ni nak cari boyfriend ke?
natasha23_asha: ko duk kat rumah kampaung ker?
natasha23_asha: saya bukan cari bf
natasha23_asha: bf dah berlambak
dellyzz: tak la, i duduk di condo
dellyzz: ye?
natasha23_asha:
dellyzz: berlambak yekkk
natasha23_asha: ko
dellyzz: tu tak sempat mak cari kerja kan
dellyzz:
natasha23_asha: hehehe
dellyzz: aku dah kawin
natasha23_asha: ko singgle ker
natasha23_asha: dah kahwin
natasha23_asha: umur brp?
dellyzz: 20
natasha23_asha: anak?
dellyzz: 1
natasha23_asha: ni mesti kena tangkap basah lah kan
dellyzz: sesedap mulut kau je
dellyzz:
natasha23_asha: sorrylah
dellyzz: biasalah
natasha23_asha: aku ni nakal sikit
dellyzz: aku nakal jugak, tapi aku tau nak cakap dengan orang macamana
dellyzz: manners la kan
natasha23_asha: oh
natasha23_asha: ko perli tasya yer
natasha23_asha: dellyzz: sorry la tasya, aku jenis cakap straigght
dellyzz: straight
dellyzz: jangan marah ek
natasha23_asha: ok
dellyzz: ko dari mana?
dellyzz: sabah ek/
natasha23_asha: mana husband?
natasha23_asha: taklah aku kl jer
dellyzz: memang orang kl ke apa?
natasha23_asha: a ah
natasha23_asha: ko keja kat mana pulak
dellyzz: kerja kat kl je l
dellyzz: tinggal ngan parents ke/
dellyzz: apsal ko chat ngan pompuan ek, musykil lak aku
dellyzz:
natasha23_asha: a ah
dellyzz: biasanya orang single ni suka chat ngan jantan
natasha23_asha: ye;lah
natasha23_asha: naktanya ko minat tak join geng tasya?
dellyzz: geng apa ko ada?
dellyzz: geng buat apa?
dellyzz: kerja baik ke kerja haram ni?
natasha23_asha: memainkan mamatkaya;
natasha23_asha: ko rasanye?.............
dellyzz: macam best je
dellyzz: camne tu?
dellyzz: woits
dellyzz: dah lari dah?
natasha23 asha: sorry ah dc tadi
dellyzz: takpela
natasha23 asha: so ko line clearker kalau nakjoin kite org?
dellyzz: kerja dia macamana
dellyzz: cubalah explain sket
dellyzz: tak paham la
natasha23 asha: ko keja aper sekarang
dellyzz: kerja biasa aje
dellyzz: sexretary
natasha23 asha: ok
natasha23 asha: kalau join kite org
natasha23 asha: cuma pikat mamat tu then have fun ngan dia supaya buatkan dia percaya kat kite pastu kikid duit
dellyzz: sapa yng kau pernah kikis?
natasha23 asha: banyak org dah
dellyzz: yang popular?
natasha23 asha: kite ader 4 member dalam geng
natasha23 asha: reply cepat leh tak i dah nak kuar kul4 ni
natasha23 asha: tak popular tapi org biasa yg banyak duit
BUZZ!!!
dellyzz: ok
dellyzz: so nak kena main ngan dia ke?
natasha23 asha: mestilah just sekali jer utk buatkan dia org percaya kat kite
natasha23 asha: lepas tu kite mula kikis duit dia org dengan menipu
dellyzz: ala tak nak ahh nak kena main
dellyzz: gila sioootttttt
natasha23 asha: naper?
dellyzz: macamana aku nak tau dia kaya?
natasha23 asha: lor
natasha23 asha: itu ko takyah risau sebab kite ader senior yg akan ushar dulu mamat tu selama 2-3 minggu utk pastikan dia benarbenar kaya.
dellyzz: wahy hebat la persatuan kau ni
natasha23 asha: pastu dia org mainkan mamat tu dulu then pass kat kite org
dellyzz: camana nak mulakan nak cari mamat2 tu?
natasha23 asha: tasya dah 3 bulan join dia org
natasha23 asha: senior kite yg buat keja cari mamat tu
dellyzz: kalau last2 dia tak nak kita
dellyzz: dah pakai pas tu dia lari, camne?
natasha23 asha: kite cuma mainkan mamat 2 then dapat duit bagi komisyen kat senior kite sikit
dellyzz: komisyen berapa banyak?
natasha23 asha: suka hati awaklah
dellyzz: ye ke?
natasha23 asha: sebab setakat ni kite org mainkan mamat ni tak penah ader yg buat cam tu
dellyzz: setakat ni kau dah mainkan berapa banyak jantan? and dah berapa kali kau main?natasha23 asha: kite buka pun aper nak kuar ngan mamat macam tu pun
natasha23 asha: i penah main 5 kali ngan 3 jantan
dellyzz: berapa keuntungan yang kau dapat?
natasha23 asha: setipa sorang i dapat kikis minima 3-4 ribu dalam masa seminggu
natasha23 asha: so i bagi member 3-5 ratus sebab pasang line clear
dellyzz: wow
dellyzz: kaya giler beb
dellyzz: bagi no handphone kau la
dellyzz: nanti aku call
dellyzz: kau dah nak kuar kan?
natasha23 asha: sorrylah awak
natasha23 asha: kite org ni buat keja ni bukan senang nak jaga line
natasha23 asha: mana tahukan ader hantu yg kenakan nanti
natasha23 asha: kalau nak u bagilah no ko
dellyzz: so macamana nak contact kau?
natasha23 asha: kite org cuma online ajer sampai ko serious nak mainkan mamat baru kite ajak jumpa
dellyzz: ooooo, ok
dellyzz: selalu korang jumpa kat mana?
natasha23 asha: aderlah ko jangan risau
natasha23 asha: sorry sulit sampai ko join kite org ok
natasha23 asha: ko pahamlah yer
dellyzz: pahamd
ellyzz: ginilah
dellyzz: aku email kau je la
dellyzz: aku susah sikit
natasha23 asha: ok
dellyzz: sebab aku kan dah kawin
dellyzz: nanti laki aku tau camne?
natasha23 asha: oh
natasha23 asha: husband ko keja jugak ker?
dellyzz: tapi aku minat
dellyzz: nanti aku email kau la
natasha23 asha: janganlah risau ko cuma akan layan mamat tu siang hari ajer
natasha23 asha: ko takder HP ker?
dellyzz: ada
dellyzz: tapi laki aku particular sikit la sesapa yang call aku
dellyzz: tulah pasal
dellyzz: id kau ni alamat email kau jugakkan?
natasha23 asha: jangan risau tasya call during office hour ajer ok
natasha23 asha: a ah sama email
dellyzz: kau selalu online tak?natasha23 asha: selalu gak dari kul 3 ptg sampai 6 ptg
natasha23 asha: awak?
dellyzz: ok aku online esok
dellyzz: kol 3 petang
dellyzz: ok tak?
natasha23 asha: ko hantar offline dulu nanti i online reply ko balik
dellyzz: ok set
natasha23 asha: ko nakjoin ko pilih bangsa tak kalau main mamat tu
dellyzz: mmm
dellyzz: aku suka bangsa afrika
dellyzz:
dellyzz: ok tak?
natasha23 asha: ler afrika kite tak main bahaya
dellyzz: apsal lak?
dellyzz: depa lagi banyak duit beee
natasha23 asha: mana ader member dah try kena tipu
natasha23 asha: kalau indian,chinese ok ker?
dellyzz: ye ke?
dellyzz: mm..indian ok lah
natasha23 asha: sebab dia org yg banyak duit
dellyzz: tapi yang darah punjabi, hensem sket
dellyzz: aku tak naklah yang macam tamil
dellyzz: masakkk!!!!
natasha23 asha: ler pasal duit ko nak memilih lagi
dellyzz: eh ye la
dellyzz: ni demi keselamatan aku
natasha23 asha: susah gak kalau ko memilih
dellyzz: kang hiv kang camne??
natasha23 asha: lor
dellyzz: ok la, ok la
dellyzz: bagi la aku yang nampak hygiene sikit
dellyzz: pembersih
natasha23 asha: kan tasya kata kite ishar dulu sebelum mainkan mamat tu
dellyzz: ok ok
dellyzz: eh tasya aku nak kena pegi ni
dellyzz: laki aku dah nak balik arr
dellyzz: nanti esok aku roger kau
natasha23 asha: ok ko ader gambar tak?
dellyzz: sekarang takde la
dellyzz: nak kena carik dulu
dellyzz: kau datang online la besok kol 3
dellyzz:

Aku dan Kekecewaan

Banyak kali dah bos aku kata, jangan cepat kecewa dan jadilah seorang fighter. Entah apa punya jibauk atau kadul, aku tetap berasa sesuatu di dalam hati. Rasa kecewa. Rasa resah gelisah. Dan rasa sepertimana seorang yang gagal rasa. Aku tak sepatutnya rasa aku gagal dalam ada majalah aku sedang meningkat naik sekarang, tetapi tidak mencapai standard yang boss aku nak. Dan aku berasa amat penat dan letih bekerja dalam penuh tekanan, dan akhirnya terpaksa mengaku bahawa - apa yang aku hasilkan tidaklah sehebat mana.

Perjumpaan hari ni menyaksikan perubahan besar yang berlaku dalam department yang kecil ini, walaupun tidak melibatkan aku dan team aku, tetapi apa yang telah diperbincangkan benar-benar membuatkan aku rasa rendah diri yang teramat. Walaupun aku ada 1001 alasan untuk dikemukakan kenapa majalah ini tak boleh menjadi-jadi macam majalah lain, aku pasti pihak management pun ada 1001 alasan untuk mempertidakkan segala alasan tu. Bukan salah sesiapa, sudah nasib aku terpaksa mengendalikan sebuah majalah yang marketnya agak sukar untuk dipenuhi, walaupun aku tahu kami sedang menuju ke arah itu. Digelar sebagai antara salah satu majaah yang gagal, pastilah membuatkan aku terkilan dan sedih, kerana di sebalik kegagalan tu, akulah yang jadi mentorya. Dan bebudak ni hanya mengikut cakap-cakap aku.

Aku banyak kekurangan, dan aku sedia maklum kekurangan tu ada kuat pada pendirian dan ketegasan juga kekebalan diri aku ni. Aku boleh berjanji untuk lebih aktif, untuk lebih efektif dan bergerak lebih cergas, aku boleh lakukan semuanya dengan sebaik mungkin, malah telah terbukti yang kami telah melakukannya dengan baik sekali sebelum ni. Cuma perlukan sedikit masa lagi dan kepercayaan daripada semua orang.

Cuma ada beberapa bulan untuk membuktikan sesuatu, dan aku hanya mampu berdoa yang sesuatu itu akan terjadi suatu hari nanti...amin..... - delly