Thursday, June 30, 2005

Me, My New Apartment and New Aspiration

I have a very pact schedule this coming July, a list of sampling and promotion activities, outstations etc etc. and what excites me more, is me shifting to my new apartment, my very own! im glad to say that this house is definitely not mine, my parents' property of course, and they are doing this for some purpose which only God knows. but still, very much thankful to them.
i know i cant be the best child they ever had, no i cant be so obedient like my brother, or so wealth and do-things-on-her-own like my sister. im just myself who always broke, and always have something to argue with people, and always ready to fight. no one can ever predict my actions, plus skills because i am a simply me. all that i want is, for my parents to be happy with my presence in their life. because i just dont know what else i would do in future that may break their hearts again. it will surely happen one day.
g is leaving to sibu for work, well i just feel that im not supposed to fall in love so deeply with him. God it runs me crazy every time. We quarelled, and fought, and quarelled and fought, and threatened to walk out from each other's life since the first arguement; and magically, we are still together for some reasons i dont know why. we are just too fond towards each other. and i do pray to God that this fondness will be with us forever (though it may sound so impractical and so romeo-and-juliet version) .
above all, im so into my work at the same time, and I really wanna do the best for this job. i pray for a better life, for a better living, even though i may not be able to be too success now because of the problems all around me. but still, life is beautiful, it deserves to be cherished, and ill cherish it my way - delly.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The Day Has Come

Suzie called me when i was in meeting, telling that she had something to share with me. I was eager waiting, and when i called her, aaahhhh....another proposal for my best friend! I thought that me and suzie would be the last among other friends as we are so committed to work and i dont think we really do have time thinking about this marriage matter. and finally, i guess i am the only person left in the list, while congratulating her then i started to think about myself then, so bad that i didnt get married as yet up to this level, at this age.
she told me that she is totally unprepared to tie the knot, of course she wants to, but this year will not be appropriate. i dont know why is it so difficult to get married then, since shes already found the right person, maybe at the wrong time, but who cares? the most important thing is that both families want them to get married and be together. they're fully blessed, and what else needed in the relationship?
it makes me sad when i look into myself, because i know ill never get a chance to be blessed like this, even though i want it so much from my parents. but it will not and never become a reality. it doesnt mean i will give up in love because i already gave up once and i dont want to be so vulnerable again.

Monday, June 13, 2005

SWEAR IT AGAIN

Life is unpredictable, despite knowing that is so much beautiful. I didnt know how much he loves me, but yesterday he proved that his love is pure, and that how much wrong interpretations i have made towards him. god, we laughed and cried together, what a life!
it is not about promising each other this and that, but how much we actually need each other.
being me, is of course i feel difficult being myself, because im too outspoken sometimes, and i just let go what i feel inside without considering people all around me. im so fond into this relationship, because for the first time in my life i feel so loved by somebody, and that i never get tired of feeling to love someone so deeply. it is happening now, and i just dont want it to stop.