I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
Here Comes My Baby!
Finally...finally...finally....
This is what we call the heck job of the professionals...without any dummies, without any mock-ups, we manage to come out with this bigger version of E-Baca...amacam...kagum tak? Well, what else I can say...thank you to my baby cutie graphic artist, Cat and to my rivals, as they've become my sources of inspiration.
What's new? We are starting to have columns for boys...cover boy, boys only!, begini caranya..., fashion craze, jiwa kacau, and geng e-baca! It's time for boys to throw their party......you heard....
Apa-apa pun, wish me the very best for this coming new year!
The Third Entry (Judging Kaum Adam)
I come in office as early as 8.30 every morning and end up my day sometimes at 6.30 pm, or even sometimes 8.30 pm. Well I am not that busy but very lazy to start blogging or at least to write something. Of course many events been happening every day, I was thinking too to record everything in my dear blog right after the happening, tapi tulah, malas...
Yesterday I got a chance to read latest entry of my friend, Suzie, who's getting married next year in June. According to her, a "touchy-feely" thing happened between her and the boyfie, and that tied my eyes to keep reading a line after line. Well it is about his boyfriend long time crush, whom for me, more to muka tak tau malu, demanded that she wants to be with Suzie's boyfriend alone whenever she's in town (tak taulah asal dari ceruk mana).
Suzie, since we've been knowing each other almost 10 years now, I know her, that she's definitely a cool type, opened-mind, tak kisah even there's a friend of boyfie (a girl) asks for a goodbye hug (or kiss), in front of her. I can't dig too deep inside Suzie's heart, but I know she speaks the truth as I know her as someone who is friendly-socialized type, and that kind of sozializing type can be accepted for her. And she's not a type who feels jealous without any reason, she's so analytical, so logical and balance...
Well I don't have any comments on this "touchy-feely" story, because it is none of my business. But when I compare myself and Suzie (in that way), wow, we are really a different individuals. If me, happen to face that kind of situation where G has to hug a lady in front of me (thanks, but no thanks) I will never had a second thought, hi hi bye bye lah jawabnya. I don't care for any reason, for any logic, there's no way of your boyfriend hugging other girl (and in front of you)? I would rather kill myself. Entahla, I'm not an emo type tapi for me, what you believe is yours, and then he can be shared, so where's the sense of belonging goes then? And been living in this so unjust world, I have to say, men can't be trusted. Hey, come on, there's always evidence every day, today he is your boyfriend, the next day he is your best friend's boy friend. So one "tak ada apa-apa" hug can ruin your wholleeeee life.
Oklah, perhaps I'm being so radical by judging men that way. Just talking from my experience, and some friends's experiences as well, finally makes me as ME. Well if G has to hug his best female girl just to say goodbye, I might say straightly to him, "You can keep hugging her forever now". Come on, if there's no emotional bond between these two, kalau tak hug before leaving tak boleh ke? Of course boleh kan...so what the heck these all...
I had the best sleep ever over the past four nights, thank God, and I always pray too that this coming year will be the best for me. Feel a bit threatened by our condition now, with all the rumours, the target sales, the this, the that, God I really need strength, I need to be prepared. I also thought over looking for other kind of job spects, reorganizing my CV, start taking photograph and post my resume to other companies. It's not my fault, I just feel threatened by situation, stressed by nature. This company's nature.
I told myself last two years, that it could be good for me to stand tough in one company for at least two years to gain experience, that start concentrating on other companies so I can enrich my knowledge and experience as well. And perhaps if I'm already rich, can even publish my own magazine like what I always wanted to "dream" past few years. Unfortunately I'm not rich yet, I mean 'yet', and there are debts around me. Still, I don't think it's a sin for me to keep dreaming, coz my dreams always being the best motivator to myself.
And yes, it's not yet time to be scared of what they've set for me. Come on, where's the semangat of Malaysia boleh? Even though I'm going to be a Mrs South African very soon it doesn't mean jati diri aku hilang. Cewah!
Mesti boleh punya! - delly
Yesterday I got a chance to read latest entry of my friend, Suzie, who's getting married next year in June. According to her, a "touchy-feely" thing happened between her and the boyfie, and that tied my eyes to keep reading a line after line. Well it is about his boyfriend long time crush, whom for me, more to muka tak tau malu, demanded that she wants to be with Suzie's boyfriend alone whenever she's in town (tak taulah asal dari ceruk mana).
Suzie, since we've been knowing each other almost 10 years now, I know her, that she's definitely a cool type, opened-mind, tak kisah even there's a friend of boyfie (a girl) asks for a goodbye hug (or kiss), in front of her. I can't dig too deep inside Suzie's heart, but I know she speaks the truth as I know her as someone who is friendly-socialized type, and that kind of sozializing type can be accepted for her. And she's not a type who feels jealous without any reason, she's so analytical, so logical and balance...
Well I don't have any comments on this "touchy-feely" story, because it is none of my business. But when I compare myself and Suzie (in that way), wow, we are really a different individuals. If me, happen to face that kind of situation where G has to hug a lady in front of me (thanks, but no thanks) I will never had a second thought, hi hi bye bye lah jawabnya. I don't care for any reason, for any logic, there's no way of your boyfriend hugging other girl (and in front of you)? I would rather kill myself. Entahla, I'm not an emo type tapi for me, what you believe is yours, and then he can be shared, so where's the sense of belonging goes then? And been living in this so unjust world, I have to say, men can't be trusted. Hey, come on, there's always evidence every day, today he is your boyfriend, the next day he is your best friend's boy friend. So one "tak ada apa-apa" hug can ruin your wholleeeee life.
Oklah, perhaps I'm being so radical by judging men that way. Just talking from my experience, and some friends's experiences as well, finally makes me as ME. Well if G has to hug his best female girl just to say goodbye, I might say straightly to him, "You can keep hugging her forever now". Come on, if there's no emotional bond between these two, kalau tak hug before leaving tak boleh ke? Of course boleh kan...so what the heck these all...
I had the best sleep ever over the past four nights, thank God, and I always pray too that this coming year will be the best for me. Feel a bit threatened by our condition now, with all the rumours, the target sales, the this, the that, God I really need strength, I need to be prepared. I also thought over looking for other kind of job spects, reorganizing my CV, start taking photograph and post my resume to other companies. It's not my fault, I just feel threatened by situation, stressed by nature. This company's nature.
I told myself last two years, that it could be good for me to stand tough in one company for at least two years to gain experience, that start concentrating on other companies so I can enrich my knowledge and experience as well. And perhaps if I'm already rich, can even publish my own magazine like what I always wanted to "dream" past few years. Unfortunately I'm not rich yet, I mean 'yet', and there are debts around me. Still, I don't think it's a sin for me to keep dreaming, coz my dreams always being the best motivator to myself.
And yes, it's not yet time to be scared of what they've set for me. Come on, where's the semangat of Malaysia boleh? Even though I'm going to be a Mrs South African very soon it doesn't mean jati diri aku hilang. Cewah!
Mesti boleh punya! - delly
Friday, December 16, 2005
My Second Entry (A Sad Story)
I keep glancing at my watch, it's 3.38 pm and there is still no sign of him calling me. Man, I suck. I really do.
My car was dead this morning coz of the battery problem, and we had a fight because normally whenever I get angry, my face turns to be hell. And that caused this quarell.
In a way, I met my clients, Michelle and Janet from Disney Channel. They are really nice people, they gave me a very b.e.a.u tiful note book, and basically we discussed on how can we promote their channel, on how they can promote my magazine. Well without Kareno I always fail to explain something, but I did it well today, even though I was sad and sick when they came, I did explain them the best about my magazine.
Another one event to be attended this Sunday, which is organized by BK http://www.karangkraf.com.my/bintangkecil, i got a very nice t-shirt, hand band and tag too. And these small cutie kids who hang around our department this whole day really brighten my day, as I look into their eyes I feel the comfortness in my heart.
Inside, I just don't know what to do again. I glanced to the digital clock on the pc, it's 5.40.
God, he's such an egoistic guy. - delly
My car was dead this morning coz of the battery problem, and we had a fight because normally whenever I get angry, my face turns to be hell. And that caused this quarell.
In a way, I met my clients, Michelle and Janet from Disney Channel. They are really nice people, they gave me a very b.e.a.u tiful note book, and basically we discussed on how can we promote their channel, on how they can promote my magazine. Well without Kareno I always fail to explain something, but I did it well today, even though I was sad and sick when they came, I did explain them the best about my magazine.
Another one event to be attended this Sunday, which is organized by BK http://www.karangkraf.com.my/bintangkecil, i got a very nice t-shirt, hand band and tag too. And these small cutie kids who hang around our department this whole day really brighten my day, as I look into their eyes I feel the comfortness in my heart.
Inside, I just don't know what to do again. I glanced to the digital clock on the pc, it's 5.40.
God, he's such an egoistic guy. - delly
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The First Entry For December
This is my first entry for December. God, I've been busy rescheduling my life and forgetting my very favourite - posting the latest entry. Eh eh kejamnya!! Anyways, just wanna jot down some events that happened last week, and the week before.
I may intentionally drop one or two, but among the best happenings was when my sister came to my house with her kids, together with my parents. She was time-passing when the hubby came to Bangi for a three-days course. I just regret that if my parents won't be together that day, we would've be enjoying to some nice places I really wanted to show her and the kids. They came on Monday, till Thursday, and I had to work. I brought my nephew and niece to my office, they helped me to sort those letters and thank God that the comittee cancelled the netball training for two days.
The second day, I just took leave (illegally ;)) from office and brought them all to Petrosains, KLCC. The free tickets were with me, never imagined that I could go to Petrosains MYSELF ha..ha..or even for dating (please!!....). So that day was the best day to go there. It was fun, well for a Science-dummy like me, ha..ha..well i was just interested to stuff like logical Sciences, something that make me really happy, like the dark ride (I like....!!), the helicopter (I like...!!) and experienced the real pelantar minyak, including the room, the bathroom, the hall where these people stay nun jauh atas laut.
The next day they went back, and my parents stayed for one more day. They were busy discussing about to repair the car, goddamn I just spent almost RM 400 for this stupid car, and they wanted me to spend again the same month! Excuse me...let me wait for the ASB bonus then bolehlah aku berlagak untuk spend lotta money for the repairing purposes. These all happen because I told my dad that I want to change my car. Nasib...nasib....
Almost forgot to mention, the week earlier I was in Berjaya Times Square for the (bolehla....) show of Gen-Y, parasit show as part of Media Hiburan-Explorace which involved celebrities and Media's readers. The first time been on stage and beein interviewed, my feet trembled like hell and I felt almost fainted, gosh I just hate to speak in front of mass..i hate it...i hate it.....in a way, a few days before this event, I was the emcee for the Klik, Jom and G3 prize giving ceremony. And i just didn't know how i could make it!
Mmm....and I am also one of the (reserved la kot...) netball players of Karangkraf. I don't have any interest to become the player pun, it's cool that I could join and be active again. So bila balik umah....krrrrrr....boleh tidur dengan nyenyak!! The first training was suck, that we came straight to field and play. The second was better that we could at least baling-baling bola. Okayla....
After that, I was busy concentrating on my work, the deadlines the pdf whatever...huh...this job sucks sometimes. It is true that I enjoyed doing my work but until Sri Diah announced that if we don't perform next year (2006), the magazine and all the people bungkus, lemah semangat terus.
The best I can do is to pray that the January issue will meet its target. And the formula is right. - delly
I may intentionally drop one or two, but among the best happenings was when my sister came to my house with her kids, together with my parents. She was time-passing when the hubby came to Bangi for a three-days course. I just regret that if my parents won't be together that day, we would've be enjoying to some nice places I really wanted to show her and the kids. They came on Monday, till Thursday, and I had to work. I brought my nephew and niece to my office, they helped me to sort those letters and thank God that the comittee cancelled the netball training for two days.
The second day, I just took leave (illegally ;)) from office and brought them all to Petrosains, KLCC. The free tickets were with me, never imagined that I could go to Petrosains MYSELF ha..ha..or even for dating (please!!....). So that day was the best day to go there. It was fun, well for a Science-dummy like me, ha..ha..well i was just interested to stuff like logical Sciences, something that make me really happy, like the dark ride (I like....!!), the helicopter (I like...!!) and experienced the real pelantar minyak, including the room, the bathroom, the hall where these people stay nun jauh atas laut.
The next day they went back, and my parents stayed for one more day. They were busy discussing about to repair the car, goddamn I just spent almost RM 400 for this stupid car, and they wanted me to spend again the same month! Excuse me...let me wait for the ASB bonus then bolehlah aku berlagak untuk spend lotta money for the repairing purposes. These all happen because I told my dad that I want to change my car. Nasib...nasib....
Almost forgot to mention, the week earlier I was in Berjaya Times Square for the (bolehla....) show of Gen-Y, parasit show as part of Media Hiburan-Explorace which involved celebrities and Media's readers. The first time been on stage and beein interviewed, my feet trembled like hell and I felt almost fainted, gosh I just hate to speak in front of mass..i hate it...i hate it.....in a way, a few days before this event, I was the emcee for the Klik, Jom and G3 prize giving ceremony. And i just didn't know how i could make it!
Mmm....and I am also one of the (reserved la kot...) netball players of Karangkraf. I don't have any interest to become the player pun, it's cool that I could join and be active again. So bila balik umah....krrrrrr....boleh tidur dengan nyenyak!! The first training was suck, that we came straight to field and play. The second was better that we could at least baling-baling bola. Okayla....
After that, I was busy concentrating on my work, the deadlines the pdf whatever...huh...this job sucks sometimes. It is true that I enjoyed doing my work but until Sri Diah announced that if we don't perform next year (2006), the magazine and all the people bungkus, lemah semangat terus.
The best I can do is to pray that the January issue will meet its target. And the formula is right. - delly
