WHAT A LUCKY DAY TO A LUCKY GAL

I went to Samsung's SGH-D600 launching in Mandarin Oriental today, and WHAT A DAY, i won myself that gadget which costs almost RM2000!! At first, at the media registration, i already felt that today is really my lucky day when by mistake they put two pen drives in my paper bag instead of one.

I had a talk with Aznor regarding this mobile phone and expressed my feeling on how very unnecessarily for us people to use this kind of mobile phone. I mean, come on, we dont really have any presentations whatsoeva, plus, even this phone im using, im not keen in using the digital camera. Well a mobile phone for me just to enable me to sms (sometimes) and most of the time, to talk to g and my mom. Thats all.

When they were about to announce those three winners, i just felt that, "God, im feeling something inside and really pray that it'll be a very good thing". When sharizan (the mc cum a legendary singer-so-called) took the card from the MD's hand, he straight asked whether anyone from Kump. Karangkraf. Gosh! There were 6 of us. And firmly he announced my name, and I was like, "Whatttt??!!!!!!".

Me, buying a kind of gadget like this, will remain a dream for me. Coz i just think straightly, im not able to buy it, even though i really love to use a different kind of phones, at least the most expensive, and at least, once in my life time. But not this one, definitely not something that will cost me even a thousand ringgit. I bought the most expensive phone about rm 800 (nokia butterfly and samsung blue i) and that was it.

But getting it for free, is another story. I always tell myself that ill use something like MP3 player or gadget if money really flies from the skies. The first time i saw mp3 in sony shop in klcc, dash, right to my heart, and i really want to hold this small, cutie mp3 in my hands one day. but that 'one day' is just like whispering air to my ears, coz i know im just not in the condition to buy, by anyhow, at least at this time.

But today, in my lucky hands, i just THANK GOD for everything, for giving, and keep giving me, even though i never be so dedicated to be close to HIM.

Thank u Samsung, for the chance given. :) - delly

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LIFE!

Ive had enough. That girl exists and she is just simply a 'beyatch'. How come she said that I took G from him and made him left her? Oh God, I really fell into a entah apa-apa relationship. I really felt that time, G is being so unfair to me, he betrays me and still in contact with that girl, even though he told me last time that everything was over. This thing was killing me like hell that Monday, gosh i just cried the whole night, thinking that ive really wasted my time and energy being too comitted to this guy.

I finally made him cry to confess that how much he loves me and what I found in my phone was just his reluctant action towards her sms, by saying that he was in cinema. Well, sometimes im a dumb but not too foolish to be told like this. Im not a kid. And this is not my first experience being cheated. I behaved so emotionally, tears kept streaming down non-stop, and the next day (yesterday) i fell into a bed and sick.

But today as I woke up in the morning, I just remember one phrase that I always told to my friends who were heart-broken. "Leave the person who doesnt love you and give those who love u so much a chance". Im not considering whether he was telling me the truth or lies, and in fact I just dont care. Maybe he doesnt love that beyatch but just wanna keep her as a friend, no, no, i believer an ex-lover cant ever be a good friend coz she will just poison his mind. I just want him to be sincere, ask himself whether he needs me, whether he can live without me. If he could, I rather he goes to that stupid Sarawakian and leave me in peace.

Please, i dont wanna get hurt in love again! - delly

HOW COULD AN ANGEL BREAK MY HEART????

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine

I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart

How could an angel break my heart...

I heard her face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name...

I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart...

Oh my soul is dying,
it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN! ANOTHER HEART BREAKER!

We exchanged phones on Saturday, and these are the results i found out on Monday afternoon.

"Im going 2 movie" smsed to 016871**** exactly at 1.30 pm (Sarawak's number)

"Im sorry. i was having a bad time. Im so sorry princess1 i never do it again1" smsed to 001760406**** (wow to US!) (the mistake wasnt intentionally created by me. I just copied the 100 percent text as written in the phone).

Because of these bulls*** sms, i didnt wait, picked up the phone and got another idea to start fighting again. The conversation?

"Somebody sms-ed me from this number"
"What it says?"
"Im sorry. i was having a bad time. Im so sorry princess1 i never do it again1"
Silent in the end of the line.
I continued.
"It is in my outbox. That means somebody texted her from my phone"
"It wasnt me"
"And definitely wasnt me."
Silent. I continued.
"But u used the phone yesterday..." and.....

PRANGGGGGGG!!!!!!

Let me give an early full stop because I just cant lie to myself that, Im hurt. He has injured me so deeply into my heart, i barely cant breath now and feel like dying. Gosh...this is the face of a person whom i love so much, so much, so so much. because of him i dumped all my male friends, all my school friends, and my good friends. because i just being so committed to him, he took the advantage to use me.

God, im a dumb. If JLo is considered a dumb, me even worse than her.

In morning when i woke up, i just prayed and told myself that, "God, if he really meant to be my husband, please do give us a good life, and a good future, for the sake of our children. Only u know how much, just how much i love him. Ameen...."

Well i dont think that im talking nonsense, as what he claimed when i called him about this. Whenever we were together, there were always calls from (international), may be from the US or maybe from England, or SA, wherever, and he started to walk away from me, and then talked. His phone is always, always with him, without fail, for god sake! He always deleted his texts on time and was so in anger even if i touched his phone.

Need some more proofs?

This lady called 'Cor*** fu**ing Ali**' always called him, always on his call list, whether she called or he called to her.

He spoke so softly when he was away.

More?

We went to klcc together on last saturday, he asked me to wait for almost 4 hours in kinokuniya (which i strongly, strongly trusted) and i finished reading 10 types of different magazines. What i found in my phone?

"Im going 2 movie" as i typed earlier, to a Sarawak's number which when i called, a lady's voice picked up. Jantan!!

What??? He was having fun inside a cinema, and I waited for him like a burning firewood in a bookshop? What kind of...!!!!!

And hes claiming that he loves me so much. Huh, jantan!!!

Why everybody is doing this to me when im so damn loyal to them? My ex fiancee did this to me too, and that bit*h even called him "abang" and "sayang". Damn!! Am i not deserved to love and to be loved? Sun** did to me this too, but i forgave him because, what for...he didnt even love me, so what?? Let him do whatever he wanted to do.

I guess being single is the best thing to do about now.

Single and so free. So free!! - delly

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

Another one week to make myself hell busy with work, i just cant actually wait to go back to my hometown, so desperately to meet my parents, and my sister from Langkawi with baby Zafri, Fatin, Najmi and Irfan.

I dont have much strength in me, the only strength to make me be able to stand tough, is reminding myself that i still have them all to brighten up my days. Well this year's Ramadhan, just like a few years before, i just feel so simply being me, its just that im trying to be more dedicated to my puasa, and to whatever i do.

I still remember one song that i normally sang during hari raya, few years back, when i was still schooling. Well it didnt mean anything that time, because my circle of life was just being with my parents, and school and house, and school and house.

That was 10 years back. Now that i am 27, life has changed me so much differently. I would really love to sing this song again, but this time it will really touches my heart and soul, because i really feel that every single line, is about me. :)

Setitis Cahaya Di Aidilfitri

Di sekitar suria yang menyinar
Hadirnya mendung meliput cahaya
Di sebalik senyum tawa riang
Timbul tangis hiba di fajar mulia

Kekosongan melanda diriku
Bak sembilu menyayat di kalbu
Mengenang nasib diri sebatang kara
Mengharungi cabaran berliku

Takbir menusuk jiwa ku
Terkenangkan kisah-kisah lalu
Keinsafan menghantui diri
Berkekalan kan ku ulang kembali

Sepatah doa mengiring diri
Setitik cahaya untuk meniti
Pedoman buat di hari muka
Moga ketenangan teman yang setia...

In the middle of laughter and tears, my heart is so carried away..

feel so empty inside, keep reminding myself that I'm all alone here...

With the call of prayers, with all sins lying inside here, feel like throwing myself out, but still I live in doubt...

only prayers come along with me, forseek a brighter life from God for me to glee...- delly

The Lost of Our First Lady

When I entered the office today, Emma shocked me with a piece of news "the first lady passed away". What a lost, for a very nice lady who suffered from his cancer, i pray peace be upon her, insya Allah. Datin Seri Endon, who had just returned from Los Angeles, US for the chemo treatment, looked so brave and determined with her disease.
I was understood that Tun Ghaffar Baba is also suffering in bed now, after receiving the news about Datin Seri Endon, there came another news that Tun also passed away this morning, including time, 7.30 a.m. Then Zurin my colleague informed everybody that someone in BERNAMA told her that Tun is still alive, and his son is denying all the hearsays about his father on every tv channel. I was like, "What?!"
Another friend of mine, emailed us the source of the news, which is believed to be a bumiputra company known as Satang Jaya (http://www.satangjaya.com). Then Ustaz called this company, the office boy told him that it was a mistake when he misheard between the words "pm's wife" and "pm's deputy"....what the..!! He immediately wrote an announcement letter to the staff of the company, and i believe there was somebody from the company forwarded the email to Taki.
Our outlook right away became a forum room, when everybody gave their commentary on this 'death' issue. Ustaz was so angry that he said the death issue is becoming an issue to fool people.
Huh...life!!
I just sometimes wonder why this kinda thing could became an issue? - delly

JUST BECAUSE OF YOU, READERS!

I always think that how lucky to become readers, every 1st just go to any bookshops, or markets, or 7 Es, and start looking for E-Baca. If it is available, fine. If not, just wait for another few more days. All they have to do is, to wait. While behind the scene, we E-Baca's team with upside down heads, keep chasing each other, pulling and pushing and sitting in the office, for what? Just to deliver the best. The best!

Me, CK and Cat are still in office while im typing this, what a life, spending our whole day in this closed building. And hell the management only knows how to point their fingers to me, make it happen, make it happen today! Well im making it happen now, what else can i do coz i didnt study much other than journalism. If i was into graphic before, ill definitely do something to help cat!

I didnt see g for almost a week, and im soooooo crazily missing him, really want to see him today, but my work sucks and I just wish to settle everything as soon as possible so that i can see him. :)

Well just want to congrat myself coz i managed to complete and submit my marketing plan only in one hour time!

Today, while busy handling the business in office, me and my team ran to Jalan Peel Convent School, to meet students of standard 1-3, and guess what, they were waiting for us like waiting for their favourite celebrities! CK and Ani handled the show soo smoothly, without palnning anything, just impromptu work, i should give a big clap to them for that. And these kids were very sporting, and the teachers too.

Thanks for the cute pen gift!

Have a look of me, and my girls, and my? My torn! Aha! - delly

NEWS FROM A GOOD FRIEND

Here I go again, well, life been treating me good. Thank you for those moments I've been through. A very long letter from a very good friend, long time no see, long time no hear. It's good to hear that somebody I (loved?), I mean, taken care for, is confessing that he's heading a good life now, with a very own company (as I understood very-very big, like this company I'm working with). It's good news, bro. Congrats!

He read all the journals I wrote, well I already closed mydeardiary and be here in blogspot for good. Those moments were when I was totally down, with no friends around. Yeah I came back to mydeardary, glanced through a few journals that made me laugh out loud, the one when I refer myself as a second hand. Goddamnit! How I sacrificed too much for somebody that I never knew what my future would be like with him. Hey! But its okay, isn't life too beautiful to be neglected, or regretted?

One thing for sure, my friend, I appreciate every single moment I've been thru in life, whether it was bad or good, why do I have to be so pessimist while with all that I could enrich experiences in life? I just feel sad, sometimes that I never learned from mistakes, and keep repeating it. People make mistakes, no doubt. But only fools repeat. One of those fools, is definitely me.
But I feel good, no matter how difficult life is, live it with cheer.

Enjoy this Fasting Month's pose from me! - kinky_delly

About Being Rude and Being Polite

Happy Ramadhan! Tomorrow Muslims start fasting as to fulfill our forth's pillar, and I'm so happy because this Ramadhan is a lot more better than last year. I still remember, I was in Saudi Arabia last two years, together with my parents, uncle and aunt, and my brother. Last year's Ramadhan was the worst, only God knows how much I suffered in order to find myself back, the baddest time when I even had RM 1.00 in pocket to survive for another one month. When I had to drink only rm 0.20 cent machined mineral water every day, and only fruits in day time and one piece of roti canai at nite.
Those moments I just want to forget, and I pray to God, that this year, and years ahead will be at least okay for me.
Lets talk about these two things, that sometimes I do discuss with my baby too, when he did find out I've intentionally neglected some moral values in me while talking to him. Which sometimes I agree (from inside) because the history of my life has somehow made me a very eager woman in whatever I do. I almost eager about almost everything, and this eagerness always lead me to become someone with full of anger, outside and inside, and the negative thing about it, I just couldnt control when it happens.
Just hope everything will be okay this Ramadhan.
Happy Ramadhan to myself. - delly