Happy 28th Birthday!!!

It's another increament of my precious age...ha..ha..ha...28 years old...

The one and only who handed me over a birthday card, is definitely abang G, and it goes....


NOTE:
On this special day
that you just adult
i really hope that you
are happy.

I pray that God gives
you the strength to
be proud of who you are
and what you have...


Coz you are a rare
diamond, you even
shine in the middle
of the ocean.

I LOVE YOU

From your *cutiyan: Abang G :o)
To my *cuminun: Delly baby :o)

Actually *cutiyan is (cutie....nya...) and *cuminun (comel...nya..) heh..hhe..heh...forgive his misspelt of Malay language, not his fault anyways. I was happy like a hell for the simple card, which for me is G himself, is a big present for me.

I received happy birthday wishes from cousins (Ija and Syam), whom I forgot theirs :o), my sister, my mom, angah and DIGI. Kareno treated me and Linda Klik a lunch at Pizza Hut, after coming back from the GA Blue office. And got a birthday present from LOIS (fancy specs) but will be given to me later, after the shooting and all that. It's a courtesy from Linda. Thanks a bunch friend!

Hmm....as I blew those candles on my cake yesterday, I just wish for one thing...mmm and it is not actually not for me, but for G. He received a very good news yesterday from his boss, and I really hope the news turns out to be a very good news for me too, soon. I think I already got whatever I want, it is just that I need to learn how to maintain and to spread the talent in me. - delly

IT'S OUR OWN MEGA EVENT!!!!

www.karangkraf.com.my/ebaca

Lovely Faces

Just wanna share three pix of Syaz's daughter and Mah's newly born baby. Shasha, she's about 2 years old, mmm...muka resemblance habis si Syaz. The next pix is with her papa, Man. Mah newly born baby, so stupid of me that I forgot to ask the baby's name, but she's so cute :) - delly

Time For Sk8er Boys!!!

Well it's time for E-Baca punyer story. Hopefully February 2006 issue will be, again, da bomb! Hey the team been working like hell day and night, and expecting for the worst is none of our agendas!

It's time to attract these young sk8er boys all around KL, Subang Jaya, Shah Alam and other urban areas. Even though they are not so into E-Baca, and more to Revolution and stuff like that, but it is actually worth trying something new. Hoping for them to come over to our office and offer themselves to be on the cover, is such a miracle happening (if its really true to be happened). So we just walked on street, found out this lil boy with an awesome talent (that Revolution didn't find out - yet), so we 'seret' him to be our cover, and..nah kau....on the shooting day...satu kerabat dibawaknya....well...they are excited, and we are all excited too.... :0)

It's not about changing anything, E-Baca is the one and only with this concept. Yes, it's true. But to get boys to read, ya Allah, susahnya Tuhan ajelah yang tahu. They don't really read, if they do read, they read one kind's stuff. They hate books, they feel like vomiting when they see mags, for that I really have to think hard to "how to make boys read". The ideas, as on papers, on the Cat's Apple Mac, are originated from ladies' minds - hebat tak team aku ni? X fresh goes with its tagline - from teens to teens. But mine is like, from ladies to boys....gitulah....

I've been ignoring my dearie blog for weeks, mmm....banyak benda nak citer. Just jot down some important agendas to be attended this month, next, next months, this year!!

1. E-Baca Junior Sk8 Challenge Anjuran Bersama MPPJ, Arena Skatepark, PJ
2. Official magazine for Kids Scuba Adventure, Pulau Tioman
3. Sue's wedding - on 29th April

Laterssss.... - delly

Visiting Lynda

I’ve lost contact with some good school friends after they got married. But don’t think will lose this one, forever. Just like old time, visiting her means my stomach will be fulfilled with good food, I won’t be disappointed with lots of current stories. Inside outside out. That’s my best friend Lynda I’m talking about. She’s been married about a month, perhaps it is so unfair to make an early judgment, but Lynda is just being herself wherever she is.

As early as 10 o’clock my dad fetched me to her rented house, first she served me breakfast and then started to cook for lunch. Even when she was still single, whenever I got chance to visit her, she would cook me a fried mee even how bad the taste was. The fried mee mamak style would always come with syrup drinks. The message: I will never be hungry with Lynda.

All this while I feel bad that I never mentioned anything about Lynda here. Not that I assume she means nothing for me, but because we are far away from each other so the feel of togetherness is always not there. She’s really a good friend who has been supporting me since we were in secondary school. We’ve been separated as she moved to UKM and me to UiTM. Sorry to say that she was a bit dumb when she was in school, J and when I left hometown to study in UiTM she was still struggling for the lower and upper sixth form. As what reported by my sister, (who taught her in class) Lynda always came well prepared to class and she was among top ten students for STPM exams. I was really impressed of her achievement and we did contact by sending mails to each other. I still remember that I sent her even a Valentine’s card during Valentine’s Day because I really breathed the presence of her in my life.

I was very happy when she was admitted to UKM, by the time I worked with GI company she was still studying. And when I was about to get engaged with that bull*hit, she was the first person I told about the news. She and her family prepared me beautiful gifts of hantaran for the bull*hit, she created even an awesome sirih junjung for the engagement day. She was the only friend who came to wish me the very best luck, and she waited till the ceremony ended. In the mean time we kept exchanging stories about her crushes too.

When I told her that the engagement broke, she was damn shocked that she cried for me. She said she understood as the same case happened to her own brother. After that I was busy with work, and she did tell me too about this guy she was so much felt into, but according to her he is kinda weird guy because he wanted to be close but he never said anything to Lynda. I mean those magic words. They did go out together but he didn’t show any interest. The worst part when Lynda told me he avoided her calls and smses.
Didn’t want to blame anyone, I just told her what I felt and what I would do if I were to be in her shoes. Of course I was being injustice on the guy’s part because whenever it comes to guys, I would be very, very irrational and emotional.

Well, of course I’m not Lynda and Lynda is not me. Somewhere in the year of 2004, she again told me that this guy had come to propose an engagement, and I was like, “What?!!!”. Being a quiet old guy, I didn’t really understand what was going on, but on the other side I felt that it was good for my dear friend Lynda. The best thing about her is, she has a very opened mind kampung mom, and she’s very lucky on that side. Her mom encouraged her to go out with this man, and be a woman enough, and she’s free to tell her mom almost anything that happens to her. That a very much difference between her mom and my mom.

The last thing she told me that they were getting married, and oh boy! I feel so proud having her as my friend as she doesn’t really care for this type of man she wants to marry. As long as everybody happy, and she is happy. And whatever it is, even though he is a quiet guy, but he’s nice, he knows his vision very clearly. As what I understood from Lynda’s story, that guy was quiet for quite some times because he was strengthening himself, he was very much preparing himself physically, mentally and financially to marry Linda at that time.

And after knowing that, I guess Lynda is the luckiest girl in the world. I mean, what else do you expect from life (as a woman) except the love and care from the one you love most? – delly

Tahun Baru dan Semangat Baru

Berlalu sudah 2005, di hari aku mengetuk keypad notebook ini, dah nak masuk hari kedua tahun 2006. Seperti tahun sudah-sudah sukar untuk aku menzahirkan apakah azam tahun baru ini, kalau ramai yang bertanya aku sekadar menjawab apa yang terlintas di benak pada waktu itu. On the spot. Selebihnya aku tertanya-tanya pada diri sendiri juga samada boleh atau tidak aku merealisasikan apa yang aku cakap. Ah! Hidup ni kadang-kadang pelik. Kan senang menjadi diri sendiri, yalah, kalau tak ada azam pun, apa salahnya?

Dulu aku sumpah seranah jugak bebudak muda Melayu kita yang partying, pubbing dan clubbing di malam tahun baru. Tapi tahun ni, aku sebahagian daripada diorang, bersama G dan beberapa teman rapat yang bertoya-toya (kata orang Melaka) mengajak aku ke tempat maksiat tu, maka melangkahlah aku ke The Beach Club Café (la…café ke...) malam tahun baru. Entah sapa yang menyarankan untuk ke Zouk, tapi aku cepat-cepat angkat kaki dan siap ugut-mengugut tak mahu pergi (sebab aku terkenang-kenang kes Jeslina Hashim..heh..hehh..heh…). Karang tak pasal-pasal bapak aku kena datang bawak RM 2000 ke lokap. Lepas bincang gitu-gitu, aku pun alright je la dengan permintaan diorang. Sebab saki-baki tension kerja masih ada, so I didn’t really mind to reward myself a treat. I mean, why not?

Aku ke sana agak lewat, dalam pukul 1 pagi baru terhegeh-hegeh nak mencari parking, manusia tak payah cakapla. Selautan dekat kawasan yang memang penuh dengan mat salleh, mat Negro dan segala mak Indon dan pompuan Filipino yang dok jadi GRO. Aku lambat pun bukan apa, bagi peluang kat G buat prayer dulu, tak habis-habis la alim dia tu kan. Aku pulak, masuk je Maghrib 31 Disember 2005, aku dah berdoa segala yang baik-baik untuk mak ayah, kaum keluarga, diri sendiri, diri sendiri dan diri sendiri. Aku tak pernah berazam, tapi Alhamdulillah, Allah sentiasa mengurniakan aku rezeki yang kadang-kadang aku tak pernah sangka. Aku bersyukur seadanya.

Masuk je ke club tu aku dah nak separuh muntah dah. Aku just nak cepat-cepat ke dance floor je sebab aku tengah excited dengar lagu Reshmonu Hey Waley Waley sedang berkumandang waktu kami masuk. Dalam banyak-banyak lagu yang memekakkan telinga tu, aku teruja dengan lagu Punjabi ni aje la. Seronok gak dapat menari ala-ala Bhangra gitu. Tiba-tiba aku lupa lak dengan segala problema aku. Ah tempat ni memang gila! Dan yang memenuhkannya semua orang tak cukup akal, termasuklah aku.

Dulu, geng-geng Ina Kru selalu cakap bebudak PR selalu pegi ‘cucuk bintang’. Bila aku tengah ‘cucuk bintang’ aku tetiba je teringat statement tak hingat Ina Kru tu. Ha..ha..ha..kelakar kan… tapi aku peduli apa sebab dulu-dulu pun kalau ke club aku sentiasa tegar, dan mengingatkan diri aku untuk tak dekat dengan any heavy smokers, jangan minum apa-apa pun (sebab spekulasi Coke dan mineral water pun depa letak something nak kasi high). Entah apa-apa. Last-last aku bawak masuk botol mineral water aku sendiri. Dan aku sentiasa aware dan conscious dalam kegilaan ramai-ramai orang tu.

Dalam pada aku duduk-duduk, entah penyangak alam mana yang dah drunk tahap dewa start nak goyang-goyang pinggul kat aku. Si punggung kecik yang berperut besar ni beriya-iya dah tolak-tolak tangan dengan aku. Wah hangin aku naik menyirap! Aku pandang G, G pandang aku. Apa lagi, plan baik punya, G tolak dia ke depan. Aku plak back hand dia sedas. Ha…pergi mam… kacau daun betul aktiviti senaman sihat aku ni!

Dalam pada berhibur tu, beranalisis jugak. Biasala aku memang suka observe perkara-perkara sehari dalam hidup aku. Aku tinjau-tinjau..hmm…boleh tahan gak anak-anak Melayu kita yang kerja kat dalam tu. Ramai betul. Sumpah aku tak menyalahkan diorang dengan jalan kerjaya yang diorang pilih ni. Kalau rezeki depa dah kat sini aku nak buat apa? Senang la manusia nak cakap itu ini, tapi bahu yang memikul tu lebih-lebih lagi siksa nak menerangkan. Sedih jugak tengok bebudak kita yang jadi waiter kat situ kena jadi pembuka botol air setan tu, dan kena serve lagi, tapi lagi sedih tengok depa-depa yang meneguknya.

Yang datang mabuk-mabuk pun ramai jugak, pas tu kenen-kenen minah-minah Filipina yang berlonggok kat satu tempat. Yang datang dengan aweks/balaks pun haruslah ramai. Ada yang dah projek kat tempat tersorok. Bukan nak kata tersorok pun, kalau tersorok baik pi hotel. Ni saja la nak show off. Loving couple la konon.

Apa pun tujuan diorang ke situ, memang none of my business. Kalau setakat datang, entertain diri sendiri kejap dan pas tu blah, kira alright. Tapi yang tak sedap ada bebudak kita yang dah dok merepek-repek kat jalanan sebab dah tunggang sebotol dua la tu. Mau aje aku luku dengan siku aku. Sedih kan? Hidup ni patutnya indah tapi kenapa kena jadi macam tu?

Sebetulnya aku tak patut langsung bersikap double standard pada mereka ni semua. Kalau aku nak query kenapa diorang di sana, so what the hell I was doing there too? Cuma aku berharap betul yang kita datang untuk berhibur, bukan menghiburkan pihak-pihak lain. Kerana aku tak nak tengok incident anak-anak muda kita tersungkur di bahu-bahu jalan, atau meroyan dalam tempat yang dipenuhi pelancong tu. Di mana pun kita berada, biarlah jati diri ni dibawa bersama. Memang seronok dibuai hiburan, tapi tak perlulah menjadi orang lain untuk berhibur. Cukup jadi diri sendiri, pada waktunya kita perlu kembali ke asal, kita harus pergi.

Entah kenapa falsafah hidup kita ni lebih mudah diucap daripada direalisasikan! – delly

Because Of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Here Comes My Baby!

Finally...finally...finally....

This is what we call the heck job of the professionals...without any dummies, without any mock-ups, we manage to come out with this bigger version of E-Baca...amacam...kagum tak? Well, what else I can say...thank you to my baby cutie graphic artist, Cat and to my rivals, as they've become my sources of inspiration.

What's new? We are starting to have columns for boys...cover boy, boys only!, begini caranya..., fashion craze, jiwa kacau, and geng e-baca! It's time for boys to throw their party......you heard....

Apa-apa pun, wish me the very best for this coming new year!

The Third Entry (Judging Kaum Adam)

I come in office as early as 8.30 every morning and end up my day sometimes at 6.30 pm, or even sometimes 8.30 pm. Well I am not that busy but very lazy to start blogging or at least to write something. Of course many events been happening every day, I was thinking too to record everything in my dear blog right after the happening, tapi tulah, malas...

Yesterday I got a chance to read latest entry of my friend, Suzie, who's getting married next year in June. According to her, a "touchy-feely" thing happened between her and the boyfie, and that tied my eyes to keep reading a line after line. Well it is about his boyfriend long time crush, whom for me, more to muka tak tau malu, demanded that she wants to be with Suzie's boyfriend alone whenever she's in town (tak taulah asal dari ceruk mana).

Suzie, since we've been knowing each other almost 10 years now, I know her, that she's definitely a cool type, opened-mind, tak kisah even there's a friend of boyfie (a girl) asks for a goodbye hug (or kiss), in front of her. I can't dig too deep inside Suzie's heart, but I know she speaks the truth as I know her as someone who is friendly-socialized type, and that kind of sozializing type can be accepted for her. And she's not a type who feels jealous without any reason, she's so analytical, so logical and balance...

Well I don't have any comments on this "touchy-feely" story, because it is none of my business. But when I compare myself and Suzie (in that way), wow, we are really a different individuals. If me, happen to face that kind of situation where G has to hug a lady in front of me (thanks, but no thanks) I will never had a second thought, hi hi bye bye lah jawabnya. I don't care for any reason, for any logic, there's no way of your boyfriend hugging other girl (and in front of you)? I would rather kill myself. Entahla, I'm not an emo type tapi for me, what you believe is yours, and then he can be shared, so where's the sense of belonging goes then? And been living in this so unjust world, I have to say, men can't be trusted. Hey, come on, there's always evidence every day, today he is your boyfriend, the next day he is your best friend's boy friend. So one "tak ada apa-apa" hug can ruin your wholleeeee life.

Oklah, perhaps I'm being so radical by judging men that way. Just talking from my experience, and some friends's experiences as well, finally makes me as ME. Well if G has to hug his best female girl just to say goodbye, I might say straightly to him, "You can keep hugging her forever now". Come on, if there's no emotional bond between these two, kalau tak hug before leaving tak boleh ke? Of course boleh kan...so what the heck these all...

I had the best sleep ever over the past four nights, thank God, and I always pray too that this coming year will be the best for me. Feel a bit threatened by our condition now, with all the rumours, the target sales, the this, the that, God I really need strength, I need to be prepared. I also thought over looking for other kind of job spects, reorganizing my CV, start taking photograph and post my resume to other companies. It's not my fault, I just feel threatened by situation, stressed by nature. This company's nature.

I told myself last two years, that it could be good for me to stand tough in one company for at least two years to gain experience, that start concentrating on other companies so I can enrich my knowledge and experience as well. And perhaps if I'm already rich, can even publish my own magazine like what I always wanted to "dream" past few years. Unfortunately I'm not rich yet, I mean 'yet', and there are debts around me. Still, I don't think it's a sin for me to keep dreaming, coz my dreams always being the best motivator to myself.

And yes, it's not yet time to be scared of what they've set for me. Come on, where's the semangat of Malaysia boleh? Even though I'm going to be a Mrs South African very soon it doesn't mean jati diri aku hilang. Cewah!

Mesti boleh punya! - delly

My Second Entry (A Sad Story)

I keep glancing at my watch, it's 3.38 pm and there is still no sign of him calling me. Man, I suck. I really do.

My car was dead this morning coz of the battery problem, and we had a fight because normally whenever I get angry, my face turns to be hell. And that caused this quarell.

In a way, I met my clients, Michelle and Janet from Disney Channel. They are really nice people, they gave me a very b.e.a.u tiful note book, and basically we discussed on how can we promote their channel, on how they can promote my magazine. Well without Kareno I always fail to explain something, but I did it well today, even though I was sad and sick when they came, I did explain them the best about my magazine.

Another one event to be attended this Sunday, which is organized by BK http://www.karangkraf.com.my/bintangkecil, i got a very nice t-shirt, hand band and tag too. And these small cutie kids who hang around our department this whole day really brighten my day, as I look into their eyes I feel the comfortness in my heart.

Inside, I just don't know what to do again. I glanced to the digital clock on the pc, it's 5.40.

God, he's such an egoistic guy. - delly

The First Entry For December

This is my first entry for December. God, I've been busy rescheduling my life and forgetting my very favourite - posting the latest entry. Eh eh kejamnya!! Anyways, just wanna jot down some events that happened last week, and the week before.

I may intentionally drop one or two, but among the best happenings was when my sister came to my house with her kids, together with my parents. She was time-passing when the hubby came to Bangi for a three-days course. I just regret that if my parents won't be together that day, we would've be enjoying to some nice places I really wanted to show her and the kids. They came on Monday, till Thursday, and I had to work. I brought my nephew and niece to my office, they helped me to sort those letters and thank God that the comittee cancelled the netball training for two days.

The second day, I just took leave (illegally ;)) from office and brought them all to Petrosains, KLCC. The free tickets were with me, never imagined that I could go to Petrosains MYSELF ha..ha..or even for dating (please!!....). So that day was the best day to go there. It was fun, well for a Science-dummy like me, ha..ha..well i was just interested to stuff like logical Sciences, something that make me really happy, like the dark ride (I like....!!), the helicopter (I like...!!) and experienced the real pelantar minyak, including the room, the bathroom, the hall where these people stay nun jauh atas laut.

The next day they went back, and my parents stayed for one more day. They were busy discussing about to repair the car, goddamn I just spent almost RM 400 for this stupid car, and they wanted me to spend again the same month! Excuse me...let me wait for the ASB bonus then bolehlah aku berlagak untuk spend lotta money for the repairing purposes. These all happen because I told my dad that I want to change my car. Nasib...nasib....

Almost forgot to mention, the week earlier I was in Berjaya Times Square for the (bolehla....) show of Gen-Y, parasit show as part of Media Hiburan-Explorace which involved celebrities and Media's readers. The first time been on stage and beein interviewed, my feet trembled like hell and I felt almost fainted, gosh I just hate to speak in front of mass..i hate it...i hate it.....in a way, a few days before this event, I was the emcee for the Klik, Jom and G3 prize giving ceremony. And i just didn't know how i could make it!

Mmm....and I am also one of the (reserved la kot...) netball players of Karangkraf. I don't have any interest to become the player pun, it's cool that I could join and be active again. So bila balik umah....krrrrrr....boleh tidur dengan nyenyak!! The first training was suck, that we came straight to field and play. The second was better that we could at least baling-baling bola. Okayla....

After that, I was busy concentrating on my work, the deadlines the pdf whatever...huh...this job sucks sometimes. It is true that I enjoyed doing my work but until Sri Diah announced that if we don't perform next year (2006), the magazine and all the people bungkus, lemah semangat terus.

The best I can do is to pray that the January issue will meet its target. And the formula is right. - delly

It's Kampung Story Time

I still feel so tired, so dragged from Saturday up till today. I rushed back to my kampung for Lynda's wedding, God, life is not easy when somebody was expecting for u and then u were damn late, and after the wedding, u could not start ur car's engine because batteries were dead; as a conjunction of your own stupidity, didnt off the lights because when u were on the way to the wedding place, it was raining heavily and u just had to on the lights. No doubt, that was what happened to me on Saturday, and somehow I just felt to sleep in the car while waiting for my dad to fetch me.

And when i reached home, i had to prepare my ears for another sad story of my grandmom. My mom, as usual, being the ratu air mata in the family, was crying advising me not to do any shit that would embarass this family, because my dad's family doesnt like us and always want to see us down. God, what it has got to do with me? Just because im not married yet, or even engaged yet?

Frankly speaking, i dont give a damn to my dad's family side anymore coz im just tired of their bullshit behaviour. I have no respect left in me for all the makciks and pakciks, not because being influenced by my mom, but because i think they dont deserve to be respected anymore. But of course, being a child of a family whom teaches me to be rational, showing off angriness and how i dont like them are just lowing down our reputation. So we just keep it that way, still visting them during hari raya, and put aside a thought of that they might say something about our family. We just, DON'T CARE!!

I recorded lotta things when i was in kampung, and i thought of jotting down everything here. The other thing that really touched me, when i saw my dad's office next to my house. The office i used to be in there and played the computer. The office where i entered silently just to talk to my boyfriend using the phone in there. The office which recorded all the statements i told my dad about my past life. The office from where i used to chat like hell with my chat friends. And when i came back last raya, i saw the office has no life anymore, i went inside and it was so dusty, so dirty, nothing inside, like being left for quite a long time. With bundles of files, books etc etc..God i really felt like crying and hugging my dad, while saying, thank u for bringing me up from all these!!

Im more sure that it is not because of the rezeki, or tak ada rezeki, it is just that my dad is old and he has no strength again to run the business. And he told me that it is difficult to run a cafeteria, instead of served food, and because of this IPT system which they have changed from served food to cafeteria, so that the students will have variety of choices in food. He said, nobody can take care of the flow cash, i cant be there all the time to take care of the cafe. My brother has other responsibilities coz he has to take care of the family who are all in KL.

I heard some of my dad's former workers mostly are still in kampung, doing kampung job, even Kamal cooks nasi lemak and sends it off to the restaurants. Even my brother, he is still jobless till now, struggling for job and hunting for tenders at the age of 39. He's turning 40 next year and still run here and there for job.

I dont blame him at all. In fact, when my dad gave him some cash for his expense, i felt so damn sad inside. He's desperate, he has family to take care of. Me, even if im broke like hell, i can always think of something without borthering my dad. I can always borrow from friends, or i can always sell my things, no theres nothing to feel ashamed of, because im single, ive no responsibilities and ive no burden in me. But my brother? With two growing-up daughters, and a wife who always wants to wear branded stuff, no , its really a difficult condition for him.

I just pray that God leads him way, and he'll find a better job as soon as possible. Ive helped him with one post here, but i dont know whats happening with the application, im just scared that they find out he's overqualified for the post. Well, for me, in resume, he has nothing lack. Everything seems so perfect, with Masters as his highest qualification. He has a very command of English, come on, he studied in Australia for almost 3 years, and he's capable in understanding almost every field. Why cant he find himself a good job? I doubt if that really happens.

Above all, all the best for Azmi! - delly

Oh Life!

I heard from Linda that her journalists get connected and share their stories thru blogs. Man, why did i know only today? I'm a writer in nature and of course i love to hear people pointing and voicing out their opinions. I just emailed Faiza* quickly, and so impressively, he came step in my place and gave me a piece of paper fully written with these gen-y's blogs. Hey dude, we come into the office, start writing about people, sometimes without any reasons just have to stayback in the office just because of other people, so why not writing about yourself?

Ha..ha..ha...gosh, we were all born with one objective in life: to write.

So i just glanced through one by one blog, some are good in expressing themselves with English, some are terrific with their Malay. It hardly matters in whatever medium u r writing, as long as people do understand, and first and foremost, of course to make YOU, YOURSELF understand.

In daily life, ive been seeing these young journalists being so committed with their work, assignments etc...and i definitely agree that actually it is not easy to be here, i mean in this media industry. Like i what wrote before, you have actually to think and focus on what other people like, how they become like that and have to convince your readers why ur magazine should be read, what makes ur magazine different from other publications? Man, it is not easy. U just have to live and breathe the air surround you before other people do, and you have to look at things beyond other people's imagination.

Well, we are known here as GEN Y- UNLIMITED IMAGINATION. What do u expect?

Im impressed of these young gals and guys (most of them are younger than me) and hope they are able to deliver the best in them. Well haji wont be this kaya raya without us, dude! - delly

Finally....

After one month, finally Samsung's agent called me with a kinda bright news...they are going to deliver my SGHD600 soon, maybe next week. Lagi lagi may be. And this happened too because i wrote an email direct to samsung mobile's website. Barulah terhegeh-hegeh nak ngecall. Well it is very well understood that i was just among the lucky winners kan, but as u've announced that i WON the phone, is it wrong for me to put hope?

Other than that, just feel happy coz another friend of mine is getting married tomorrow, ive to rush to go back to my kampung just for her tomorrow. Sorang, sorang dah kawin ni, camana? ;) - delly

Love My Caricature Face.....

As drawn by one of the best cartoonists here, my caricature face appeared once in E-Baca, but my designer has decided to put it again as the main icon of my editor's note. Three words, "I Lovvveeeeee It!" - delly

The Ring

I never expected that it would happen this soon, but yea, it did happen, and he got me surprised with his white gold proposal yesterday! Thank God, i just shed a tear for the moment, i thank God that he makes me realize how he loves me so much, and how i should be grateful for the sincerity in him.

He hugged me passionately before placing the box right inside my pant's backside pocket. I thought i knew what was inside but i gave him a big hug first for that, then everything turned out to be my scream and cry of joy. God, I love him so much. Please let me live my life in this love...

Just a simple white gold ring, but i feel like being covered with diamonds all over. G, most of the times makes me really mad, but he causes the bitter and hes the one who put effort to make it sweet. I love u baby.... - delly

When It Is Time To Evaluate Yourself...

Everybody in my company is waiting for January 2006 to come, as new salary scheme will be introduced. Entah ye ye, but i found out the truth today, as we the editors were called to a brief course which is called 'PAPO' Performance Appraisal Online. Of course, talking about work, job specs, semua nak yang terbaik. Dan kenalah promote diri sendiri habis-habisan. And this task always put me in between; between the truth and sincerity dengan 'nak jaga hati'. Under me, Im consulting three journalists whom characteristically different from each other, and im sure they'll be gosipping with each other after finding out that ive evaluated them differently, according to my point of view.

Wholly, just wanna describe them one by one. Let me start with the youngest among us, shes the youngest, the most stubborn, but at the same time the most hardworking gal. A single order will be responsed in less that a minute. Thats what i like much about her. But, on the other side, shes rude sometimes, practically i dont feel like being her boss, because it seems to me that she tries to prove im not supposed to be at my position. but she just doing her work fine. Ive no complaint about that.

Id*, so womanly gal, getting married real soon, so shes so much disturbed with the preparation of the wedding, i guess so ;). She has impressed me with her work too, but i have to say, she can give advise to kids, can consult kids damn well, but cant be a good kids writer. Because she loves to write so long long paragraph, with a combination of confusing sentences, i must say. But she is as hardworking as An* does, thank God, she has helped me a lot in building and completing this magazine evry month.

The bittersweet, CK is kinda different. At first she impressed me so well with her writing, I was amazed of her capabilities to write some scripts for Damia series, i heard song lyrics too, and some other creative stuff. But after a few months (specifically after several issues), she started to make simple mistake like spelling errors, and wrong conjuction etc etc. Most of her articles look 'cincai' to me, and sometimes made me really mad. Shes always the last to submit her work, every month, and always has reason for every single thing i commented. Very nice lady (lady?) but because of our same age, she just (maybe la kot) thinks that, lets take easy everything she says. I guess so.

Above all, im just so proud of my team. For me, my team rocks! We are the best because im the best editor ha ha i dont mind whatever they wanna do, with or without me, as long as they complete their work. Im grateful as the graphic designer is creative, in fact more creative than i do, and it helps me so much in improving this cute mag.

Well a good news to everybody, my mag has been revamped, we'll come out with a new look this coming JANUARY 2006. Just cant wait!! And guess what? A brand new look on cover and a new PRICE. Im so relaxed when they finally announced of the amendment of the price, because rm 3.90 for students aged 9-14 sounds so illogical. RM 3.00 is cool, as we have damn variety of infos! And the it has been resized too, it is BK size now, and everybody starts promoting that we are into BK now. The hell with that, coz just like what i wrote before, i dont give a f*c* to this girly mag. Sorry! - baby_delly

To Work Under Pressure

That's how working in media is. If you have crossed the deadline, you'll be dead. I don't really care if they shoot or stab me, but killing me with bunches of questions makes the pain feels even more bitter. Apai started to call me again and again, for the confirmaton, he called me to his room to, as if my magazine was the only magazine that met the deadline after the date given. Pleaselah! If i can do more work (read: if i can design the layouts and crop the pix), i'm sure i will. Aku ada dua tangan dengan dua kaki je, and i've forced my graphic to her limit, she just couldnt do anything for more.

But i think im lucky because i can really depend on my journalists, as good as i am, they are able to work under pressure too, no matter how much pressure, and to whatever extent, still we can deliver the best.

Even though i crossed the line, i must admit that i just cant wait to see the output coz of three reasons. One, December issue is in PINK in color. Second, because Suz*e is on the cover, and she looks so lovely and professional. Moreover i took the pix, and i feel damn good of my own good work. :) And thirdly, this is the very last issue of E-Baca in this size. After 11 eleven issues, the 12th ones will come out with a brand new size, BIGGER and LOVELIER. And im sure we can definitely meet the deadlines in future coz we'll be having only 4 sections (as Apai told me) and lesser pages.

I dont care whatever changes that are going to take place, my readers will always the number one subject to be considered. I dont really enjoy doing and editing boys' magazine, which is definitely opposite me, coz i was born a lady, i love to write on women's issues and i used to write on their matters. but trying something new is not a bad idea either, to gain esperience, is to accept anything which acrosses my life. That was how i started my belief, and i guess, i was not wrong. in fact, it was the best decision taken. - delly_baby

What Do I Expect?

I hate him. I hate this feeling, illogical feelings. I just hate myself so much.

God, please, give me strength and energy to fight all badwills in myself.

Please...dear God...

Satu Hari Di Hari Raya

Back to work again, after spending 5 days in my hometown. It was not the 'raya' that i was eager waiting for, but the moment to get together with the whole family, especially my sister from Langkawi and her 4 kids. Unfortunately, my brother could not join us on that special day coz as what i was told, his daughter was just recovered from a serious hot fever.

I was trying not to say anything, because i just know his tight condition, and didnt want to bring it as an issue in the family. I was the one who sms-ed him because in the first day of raya, we were waiting for him, as usual he should supposed to reach home by 3 pm. But i didnt even see his shadow at 6 pm, and started to sms him.

My mom was angry when i asked her to call him, because according to her, a son or a daughter should always get connected to family, which i 100 percent agreed. But considerng my brother's situation, im trying to put my feet on his shoes, and really, it hurts, when you have to go back to your hometown, when u r a jobless, while the wife is earning well.

This is what i feel happening to him. Because in my kampung, everybody knows that he used to work with my dad, and when my dad didnt get any chances to continue all the tenders, he turned to be unemployed. And that was so bad for a man who is married, with two growing daughters.

Really, i just wanted to feel pity for him.

I just dont know why, but i did not really enjoy this syawal. I went to Lynda's house, and we were busy talking about the preparation of her wedding day. Last day before went back to my hometown, i was busy discussing the same hell thing with Azn**. What the hell, everybody was busy talking about their big day, and me, im still not certain whether this man wants to marry me or not...pity me...

Anyways, being so grateful as a human...i should be happy that i am myself... - delly

WHAT A LUCKY DAY TO A LUCKY GAL

I went to Samsung's SGH-D600 launching in Mandarin Oriental today, and WHAT A DAY, i won myself that gadget which costs almost RM2000!! At first, at the media registration, i already felt that today is really my lucky day when by mistake they put two pen drives in my paper bag instead of one.

I had a talk with Aznor regarding this mobile phone and expressed my feeling on how very unnecessarily for us people to use this kind of mobile phone. I mean, come on, we dont really have any presentations whatsoeva, plus, even this phone im using, im not keen in using the digital camera. Well a mobile phone for me just to enable me to sms (sometimes) and most of the time, to talk to g and my mom. Thats all.

When they were about to announce those three winners, i just felt that, "God, im feeling something inside and really pray that it'll be a very good thing". When sharizan (the mc cum a legendary singer-so-called) took the card from the MD's hand, he straight asked whether anyone from Kump. Karangkraf. Gosh! There were 6 of us. And firmly he announced my name, and I was like, "Whatttt??!!!!!!".

Me, buying a kind of gadget like this, will remain a dream for me. Coz i just think straightly, im not able to buy it, even though i really love to use a different kind of phones, at least the most expensive, and at least, once in my life time. But not this one, definitely not something that will cost me even a thousand ringgit. I bought the most expensive phone about rm 800 (nokia butterfly and samsung blue i) and that was it.

But getting it for free, is another story. I always tell myself that ill use something like MP3 player or gadget if money really flies from the skies. The first time i saw mp3 in sony shop in klcc, dash, right to my heart, and i really want to hold this small, cutie mp3 in my hands one day. but that 'one day' is just like whispering air to my ears, coz i know im just not in the condition to buy, by anyhow, at least at this time.

But today, in my lucky hands, i just THANK GOD for everything, for giving, and keep giving me, even though i never be so dedicated to be close to HIM.

Thank u Samsung, for the chance given. :) - delly

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LIFE!

Ive had enough. That girl exists and she is just simply a 'beyatch'. How come she said that I took G from him and made him left her? Oh God, I really fell into a entah apa-apa relationship. I really felt that time, G is being so unfair to me, he betrays me and still in contact with that girl, even though he told me last time that everything was over. This thing was killing me like hell that Monday, gosh i just cried the whole night, thinking that ive really wasted my time and energy being too comitted to this guy.

I finally made him cry to confess that how much he loves me and what I found in my phone was just his reluctant action towards her sms, by saying that he was in cinema. Well, sometimes im a dumb but not too foolish to be told like this. Im not a kid. And this is not my first experience being cheated. I behaved so emotionally, tears kept streaming down non-stop, and the next day (yesterday) i fell into a bed and sick.

But today as I woke up in the morning, I just remember one phrase that I always told to my friends who were heart-broken. "Leave the person who doesnt love you and give those who love u so much a chance". Im not considering whether he was telling me the truth or lies, and in fact I just dont care. Maybe he doesnt love that beyatch but just wanna keep her as a friend, no, no, i believer an ex-lover cant ever be a good friend coz she will just poison his mind. I just want him to be sincere, ask himself whether he needs me, whether he can live without me. If he could, I rather he goes to that stupid Sarawakian and leave me in peace.

Please, i dont wanna get hurt in love again! - delly

HOW COULD AN ANGEL BREAK MY HEART????

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine

I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart

How could an angel break my heart...

I heard her face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name...

I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart...

Oh my soul is dying,
it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN! ANOTHER HEART BREAKER!

We exchanged phones on Saturday, and these are the results i found out on Monday afternoon.

"Im going 2 movie" smsed to 016871**** exactly at 1.30 pm (Sarawak's number)

"Im sorry. i was having a bad time. Im so sorry princess1 i never do it again1" smsed to 001760406**** (wow to US!) (the mistake wasnt intentionally created by me. I just copied the 100 percent text as written in the phone).

Because of these bulls*** sms, i didnt wait, picked up the phone and got another idea to start fighting again. The conversation?

"Somebody sms-ed me from this number"
"What it says?"
"Im sorry. i was having a bad time. Im so sorry princess1 i never do it again1"
Silent in the end of the line.
I continued.
"It is in my outbox. That means somebody texted her from my phone"
"It wasnt me"
"And definitely wasnt me."
Silent. I continued.
"But u used the phone yesterday..." and.....

PRANGGGGGGG!!!!!!

Let me give an early full stop because I just cant lie to myself that, Im hurt. He has injured me so deeply into my heart, i barely cant breath now and feel like dying. Gosh...this is the face of a person whom i love so much, so much, so so much. because of him i dumped all my male friends, all my school friends, and my good friends. because i just being so committed to him, he took the advantage to use me.

God, im a dumb. If JLo is considered a dumb, me even worse than her.

In morning when i woke up, i just prayed and told myself that, "God, if he really meant to be my husband, please do give us a good life, and a good future, for the sake of our children. Only u know how much, just how much i love him. Ameen...."

Well i dont think that im talking nonsense, as what he claimed when i called him about this. Whenever we were together, there were always calls from (international), may be from the US or maybe from England, or SA, wherever, and he started to walk away from me, and then talked. His phone is always, always with him, without fail, for god sake! He always deleted his texts on time and was so in anger even if i touched his phone.

Need some more proofs?

This lady called 'Cor*** fu**ing Ali**' always called him, always on his call list, whether she called or he called to her.

He spoke so softly when he was away.

More?

We went to klcc together on last saturday, he asked me to wait for almost 4 hours in kinokuniya (which i strongly, strongly trusted) and i finished reading 10 types of different magazines. What i found in my phone?

"Im going 2 movie" as i typed earlier, to a Sarawak's number which when i called, a lady's voice picked up. Jantan!!

What??? He was having fun inside a cinema, and I waited for him like a burning firewood in a bookshop? What kind of...!!!!!

And hes claiming that he loves me so much. Huh, jantan!!!

Why everybody is doing this to me when im so damn loyal to them? My ex fiancee did this to me too, and that bit*h even called him "abang" and "sayang". Damn!! Am i not deserved to love and to be loved? Sun** did to me this too, but i forgave him because, what for...he didnt even love me, so what?? Let him do whatever he wanted to do.

I guess being single is the best thing to do about now.

Single and so free. So free!! - delly

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

Another one week to make myself hell busy with work, i just cant actually wait to go back to my hometown, so desperately to meet my parents, and my sister from Langkawi with baby Zafri, Fatin, Najmi and Irfan.

I dont have much strength in me, the only strength to make me be able to stand tough, is reminding myself that i still have them all to brighten up my days. Well this year's Ramadhan, just like a few years before, i just feel so simply being me, its just that im trying to be more dedicated to my puasa, and to whatever i do.

I still remember one song that i normally sang during hari raya, few years back, when i was still schooling. Well it didnt mean anything that time, because my circle of life was just being with my parents, and school and house, and school and house.

That was 10 years back. Now that i am 27, life has changed me so much differently. I would really love to sing this song again, but this time it will really touches my heart and soul, because i really feel that every single line, is about me. :)

Setitis Cahaya Di Aidilfitri

Di sekitar suria yang menyinar
Hadirnya mendung meliput cahaya
Di sebalik senyum tawa riang
Timbul tangis hiba di fajar mulia

Kekosongan melanda diriku
Bak sembilu menyayat di kalbu
Mengenang nasib diri sebatang kara
Mengharungi cabaran berliku

Takbir menusuk jiwa ku
Terkenangkan kisah-kisah lalu
Keinsafan menghantui diri
Berkekalan kan ku ulang kembali

Sepatah doa mengiring diri
Setitik cahaya untuk meniti
Pedoman buat di hari muka
Moga ketenangan teman yang setia...

In the middle of laughter and tears, my heart is so carried away..

feel so empty inside, keep reminding myself that I'm all alone here...

With the call of prayers, with all sins lying inside here, feel like throwing myself out, but still I live in doubt...

only prayers come along with me, forseek a brighter life from God for me to glee...- delly

The Lost of Our First Lady

When I entered the office today, Emma shocked me with a piece of news "the first lady passed away". What a lost, for a very nice lady who suffered from his cancer, i pray peace be upon her, insya Allah. Datin Seri Endon, who had just returned from Los Angeles, US for the chemo treatment, looked so brave and determined with her disease.
I was understood that Tun Ghaffar Baba is also suffering in bed now, after receiving the news about Datin Seri Endon, there came another news that Tun also passed away this morning, including time, 7.30 a.m. Then Zurin my colleague informed everybody that someone in BERNAMA told her that Tun is still alive, and his son is denying all the hearsays about his father on every tv channel. I was like, "What?!"
Another friend of mine, emailed us the source of the news, which is believed to be a bumiputra company known as Satang Jaya (http://www.satangjaya.com). Then Ustaz called this company, the office boy told him that it was a mistake when he misheard between the words "pm's wife" and "pm's deputy"....what the..!! He immediately wrote an announcement letter to the staff of the company, and i believe there was somebody from the company forwarded the email to Taki.
Our outlook right away became a forum room, when everybody gave their commentary on this 'death' issue. Ustaz was so angry that he said the death issue is becoming an issue to fool people.
Huh...life!!
I just sometimes wonder why this kinda thing could became an issue? - delly

JUST BECAUSE OF YOU, READERS!

I always think that how lucky to become readers, every 1st just go to any bookshops, or markets, or 7 Es, and start looking for E-Baca. If it is available, fine. If not, just wait for another few more days. All they have to do is, to wait. While behind the scene, we E-Baca's team with upside down heads, keep chasing each other, pulling and pushing and sitting in the office, for what? Just to deliver the best. The best!

Me, CK and Cat are still in office while im typing this, what a life, spending our whole day in this closed building. And hell the management only knows how to point their fingers to me, make it happen, make it happen today! Well im making it happen now, what else can i do coz i didnt study much other than journalism. If i was into graphic before, ill definitely do something to help cat!

I didnt see g for almost a week, and im soooooo crazily missing him, really want to see him today, but my work sucks and I just wish to settle everything as soon as possible so that i can see him. :)

Well just want to congrat myself coz i managed to complete and submit my marketing plan only in one hour time!

Today, while busy handling the business in office, me and my team ran to Jalan Peel Convent School, to meet students of standard 1-3, and guess what, they were waiting for us like waiting for their favourite celebrities! CK and Ani handled the show soo smoothly, without palnning anything, just impromptu work, i should give a big clap to them for that. And these kids were very sporting, and the teachers too.

Thanks for the cute pen gift!

Have a look of me, and my girls, and my? My torn! Aha! - delly

NEWS FROM A GOOD FRIEND

Here I go again, well, life been treating me good. Thank you for those moments I've been through. A very long letter from a very good friend, long time no see, long time no hear. It's good to hear that somebody I (loved?), I mean, taken care for, is confessing that he's heading a good life now, with a very own company (as I understood very-very big, like this company I'm working with). It's good news, bro. Congrats!

He read all the journals I wrote, well I already closed mydeardiary and be here in blogspot for good. Those moments were when I was totally down, with no friends around. Yeah I came back to mydeardary, glanced through a few journals that made me laugh out loud, the one when I refer myself as a second hand. Goddamnit! How I sacrificed too much for somebody that I never knew what my future would be like with him. Hey! But its okay, isn't life too beautiful to be neglected, or regretted?

One thing for sure, my friend, I appreciate every single moment I've been thru in life, whether it was bad or good, why do I have to be so pessimist while with all that I could enrich experiences in life? I just feel sad, sometimes that I never learned from mistakes, and keep repeating it. People make mistakes, no doubt. But only fools repeat. One of those fools, is definitely me.
But I feel good, no matter how difficult life is, live it with cheer.

Enjoy this Fasting Month's pose from me! - kinky_delly

About Being Rude and Being Polite

Happy Ramadhan! Tomorrow Muslims start fasting as to fulfill our forth's pillar, and I'm so happy because this Ramadhan is a lot more better than last year. I still remember, I was in Saudi Arabia last two years, together with my parents, uncle and aunt, and my brother. Last year's Ramadhan was the worst, only God knows how much I suffered in order to find myself back, the baddest time when I even had RM 1.00 in pocket to survive for another one month. When I had to drink only rm 0.20 cent machined mineral water every day, and only fruits in day time and one piece of roti canai at nite.
Those moments I just want to forget, and I pray to God, that this year, and years ahead will be at least okay for me.
Lets talk about these two things, that sometimes I do discuss with my baby too, when he did find out I've intentionally neglected some moral values in me while talking to him. Which sometimes I agree (from inside) because the history of my life has somehow made me a very eager woman in whatever I do. I almost eager about almost everything, and this eagerness always lead me to become someone with full of anger, outside and inside, and the negative thing about it, I just couldnt control when it happens.
Just hope everything will be okay this Ramadhan.
Happy Ramadhan to myself. - delly

JUST CAN'T STAY

I thought of fueling in my car this morning, when i found out this place, which is called AM. It is actually very near to the place that im staying, but i didnt see any cyber cafes around, so i just drove around when finally i came to this cc. well let me describe it as a place hell of kids who are fond of computer games, im not really sure how much of their parents' money theyve been spending for those stupid games. and for the first time, i had to pay first before getting my service. rm 3 per hour. wow, thats nice. huh!

My boreness has brought me here, ive watched ranges of programmes on tv from those funny cartoons till news and to hindi movie too. and i just fell asleep coz there was nothing else to do in my empty house, and also because i get used to the feeling of working every saturday and sunday. plus my boyfriend is not around, so i feel a lil bit lonely. and i get addicted to check on my website, whether there are some other messages and feedback from kids, well i just have to check on that every day, and need to reply them back as soon as possible to make those kids happy, and for that they will keep replying me and keep buying my magazine ;).

well nothing much...just wanna post some pix when i was surrounded by these 'desperate' kids in jb...enjoy... - delly

SKY SO HIGH!

Again, in a gap of two days, i got this opportunity of watching another movie, after Flightplan. Sky High is definitely a movie for E-Baca lovers, the main character, Will Stronghold somehow reminds me of our very own Rudy Thunder.

Suzie came to watch the movie too, what really a surprise, coz yesterday i was remembering her so much. Still the same Suzie, she looked pale with a baju kurung that i think ive seen last 5 years after we graduated, during the uni days. :+) One word. We journalist people just dont care what to wear, when and how long the age of the clothe is. As long the outfit fits us well, makes us move so groovy and feel easy. That what i always do with the collections of my old baju kurung. Well, unlike my mom, i just dun care.

We shared a lot of stories, including the latest of my not-so-close friend, Shah who just got an offer to work with Cosmopolitan magazine, and for that he has to leave Eh! magazine with honour ;). Last time, it was always my dreams to work with Eh! a.k.a BluInc company which has their own branches in a few other countries. I love Eh! mainly because Wirda and Rosie were there, and these two idols of mine introduced a housestyle which is very catchy and lovely, and always make the readers feel close to the editor and the editorial team. I just love the way they put their words and sentences. So that time i learned a lot to be the second wirda or rosie (but obviously i cant be them, i can only be myself!).

When this auntie named Asiah took over Wirda's place, Eh! is still the same, but not exactly the same. I somehow felt that "the touch" wasnt there anymore. Every single word seems so loose and with no direction. But still i kept reading (read: still reading) the mag because my friend Shah was there and furthermore, my graphic artist Gunn, quit from my company and joined Eh! too. Then there came In-Trend magazine, which is very much copycat of Eh!, because what? Because Rosie has become the editor of that mag of Astro, and she carries her style in her writing pieces.

Well there is still a long way ahead, im not sure of my position in this company yet, but the main first thing is to make myself happy in whatever i do. When im happy, other people around me will be double happy. And that would this life so much happier. Ive heard masses of rumours, from everywhere and every one about this placa, but i just dont care and i dont want to think anything.

Life is too beautiful, lets live to its fullest! - delly

p/s: always feel free to browse: http://www.karangkraf.com.my/ebaca

The Rejection

Ive heard rumours about how suck my company is, including the owner and the owner-to-be. Not just because of the budget issues, about orthodox ideas of promotional plans, but everything. I didnt believe at first coz all i wanted to do was to be really comitted with my work, n other than that, none of my business.

How come a young owner-to-be, who was just graduated from not local university, converse in english like water-flow, could reject the idea of promoting these three magazines meant for teenagers in a great IPT like UITM? And what made me bengang more, when she agreed to promote those stupid mags in schools, together with my mag and bk. What the! When it comes to the right readers and audience out there, i always make myself reasonable and balance enough. But im not sure with this makcik who just got married a couple of months ago.

Im not complaining but i begin to think that under the other makcik, the sampling programme went so smoothly. We did sampling almost every where, where moms and kids were together, even i jumped to the streets and schools, and clubs, and lake gardens, i never cared whoever they are and with kind of people i met - just one objective to be fulfilled - to know and to make it known!

But what kareno told me last time, really makes me think twice, till now. - delly

My Confessions...

;) I just came back from JB last two days, and I was damn happy there, spent really good and quality time with Ida and CK, and it was such a relief when you could share something with some good friends. those days in jb too, i got to know kareno better, as a friend in person and as my colleague. and the most important thing, we have built a close relationship with MARA and haza as well, thanks to this cute gal, for the treat and offer, that finally my dreams to promote my ebaca in jb has been achieved.

well lots of things keep playing in my mind, god i really love my baby, my very own ebaca and my objective is to make this cute mag to be known wholly malaysia. ive got some plans of course, but to make it reality is kinda difficult because not everybody is supporting, including my parents. that is the main obstacle for me. and being an allrounder, the only one i should be taken care for is, myself. hey, i always tell myself that it is not easy to be a teacher, but more difficult to be a writer and tell the whole world to be good. especially to children. wow what a great challenging commitment!

anyways i dun mind to sacrifice even half of my time and money, because i just know that theres no other contribution from me to the nation, other than this. ;)

wheneveer i am able to sleep in nite without any interruptions, that means im leading a good life ahead. and after being located in the gen-y division, together with bk and the other three comics mags, i feel really being me, and my writers are all working so happily. without the power of r&d, we have splashed the best creativity and the best topics to the kids.

and we have more ample and leisure time to work, even to watch movie! today, me, ck and ida went to watch flightplan by jodie foster, and damn it was a good movie, just like panic room which i watched two years back. and what made it cool, coz going to cinema for movie preview is definitely part of our job. how cool! wish to watch chicken little, zorro 2 and zathura in nearly future! and also narnia and harry potter: goblet of fire ;).

and a good news conveyed to me by suzie today, she is engaged! congrats, sue! - delly

10 MINUTES NOTES

It is about another 10 minutes to leave the office, and i am completely relaxing myself at this moment, after pasing the deadline successfully. Thinking that i may have something to write about, so i just jot down what i feel like writing now.
Im going to Johor Bahru tomorrow, again for the sampling and promotion of my very, vey la the magazine. Thank u to haza for opening the door of opportunity for us, we work closely with MARA now and i guess it is such a golden chance for is us to step more further.
I wanted to write about this last Monday, but i just forgot as i had so many things in my mind before. My brother sms-ed me on sunday morning asking for the pc, that was kinda normal. but what made me felt so sad inside, when he again sms-ed me and asked whether theres any job availability in my company. i saw my mom cried when she told me about him last time when she was in shah alam. i was sad too, yes i did, as i saw the sms, i began to think that he must be in great difficulties now, because he never asked me help for anything. for anything. just like i never asked him for anything.
i could imagine his life now, when the wife has to work even harder to support the family. and i know my dad somehow feels so bad about his son's condition, because my brother used to earn more than 5k when he was working with my dad, as his personal assistant and staff manager. when there was no more contract to sign-in, no more offers from the government to cater kids and students in universities, my dad and my brother just had to quit and they tried to concentrate on other kind of business, like petrol station etc, but it just didnt work out well because of lack of experiences.
i used to be very sad and angry to him to what he did, but i guess it was his responsibility and he managed it so damn-well. i know that life sometimes is so bitter, that we cant even swallow the air we are breathing. it is just so hard. and it is like a wheel too. and i believe that he is so well in the ground and needs help.
i have no vengeance with him, and ill try my best to help him out. - delly